Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

the line graph illustrate the number of jobs in the four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020 .

overall, the number of jobs is distinct in such section between these years. Some of them had increased and others had decreased or even stayed stable over the years .

Initially, manufacturin had the highest number in 1960, 15 million that had escalated to reach 20 million in 1980 and then reduced over ther years to 13 million job in 2020. In constrast, this graph shows that two sectors has increased until they reached the most elevated number in 2020, the first one, is healthcare that has escalated from 2 million positions in 1960 to 15 million in 2020. The second sector is retail, that has been 6 million in 1960 compared to 15 million in 2020. Lastly, Agriculture, it goes from 6 million jobs in 1960 to 3 million in 1980 abd stayed constant for 20 years and declined to be 2 million position in 2020 .

in conclusion, retail and healthcare have more opportunities in 2020 compared to 1960. however, agriculture and manufacturing declined over the years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You cover all four sectors and identify the main patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before falling, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture declines. The overview also captures the broad contrast between growing and shrinking sectors. Most figures are accurate, but healthcare is reported as reaching 15 million in 2020 rather than about 16 million, and the statement that retail and healthcare reached their highest levels in 2020 could be made more precise by noting that they finish at roughly the same level. The final conclusion repeats earlier points rather than adding a useful comparison. This is a relevant, well-focused summary, though some comparisons and details are less fully developed than they could be; more precise endpoint reporting would strengthen it further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall sequence: an introduction, a general overview, details about the sectors, and a concluding statement. Linking expressions such as “Initially,” “In contrast,” and “Lastly” help the reader follow the comparisons. However, the organisation within the main detail section is somewhat mechanical, and the final “in conclusion” repeats the overview instead of advancing the comparison. Some references are also unclear: “two sectors has increased” is followed by a description of both sectors, but the sentence structure makes the relationship difficult to follow. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the two declining sectors together, with clearer transitions between them, would create smoother progression and more effective cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “escalated,” “reduced,” “declined,” and “stayed constant.” This allows you to communicate the main movements, but several choices are unnatural or imprecise for graph reporting. For example, “the number of jobs is distinct” does not clearly express variation, and “the most elevated number” is an awkward way to describe a peak. “Opportunities” also changes the meaning: the graph shows job numbers, not employment opportunities. Spelling errors such as “manufacturin,” “ther,” “constrast,” and “abd” further reduce accuracy. Aim for standard collocations such as “rose to,” “fell to,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses linked with “that” and “compared to,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, some grammatical errors recur. For example, “the line graph illustrate” needs subject–verb agreement, while “two sectors has increased” should use a plural verb and a suitable tense. The sentence beginning “Initially, manufacturin had the highest number” also has an unclear clause structure, and “Agriculture, it goes…” is not a well-formed sentence. There are inconsistent capitalisation and punctuation choices, including lowercase sentence openings and spaces before full stops. Practise accurate agreement and complete sentence structures, then proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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