Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The grapgh given below shows the information of the jobs in numbers in four different sectors of economy of US from 1960 to 2020.

Manufacturing had exact 15 million job 1960 but gradually increased to exact 20 million 1960 to 1980. Then slowly came down to almost 16.5 million in and kept decreasing till 2020 and came to around 13 million. On othe side Retail and Healthcare kept increasing slowly from [redacted phone]. Retail jobs were 6 million in numbers in 1960, 10 million in 1980, 15 million in 2000 and went a little high in 2020 and number increased to 16 million. While healthcare startes from 3 million kept getting high and went to 16 million like Retail in 2020. Agriculture jobs started from 6 million but instead of getting more in numbers they went down in 1980 and became 3 million and didn't change in 2002 and then went down to 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You report several relevant figures and trends, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million by 1980 followed by a decline, and agriculture’s fall from 6 million to 2 million. However, the response lacks a clear overview of the main pattern: manufacturing peaked and then fell, while retail and healthcare rose, with healthcare and retail reaching similar levels by 2020. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare begins at 2 million, not 3 million; manufacturing is about 17 million in 2000, not 16.5; and “in 2002” should refer to 2000. The account is largely a sequence of figures, with limited comparison of the sectors’ relative positions. A concise overview and more accurate, selective comparisons would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response follows a broadly understandable order, moving from manufacturing to the rising sectors and then agriculture. Linking phrases such as “Then,” “On the other side,” and “While” help show contrast and sequence. However, the information is presented as one continuous paragraph, and there is no distinct overview to guide the reader through the main trends. Some links are awkward or unclear, particularly “While healthcare startes from 3 million kept getting high,” which makes the relationship between the ideas difficult to follow. The repeated use of “and” also creates a list-like progression rather than a clearly organised summary. Grouping the trends into paragraphs and using more precise transitions would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreasing,” “jobs,” and “million,” so the main subject is generally clear. However, the range is limited and several expressions are unnatural or imprecise, such as “the information of the jobs in numbers,” “went a little high,” and “kept getting high.” Spelling errors, including “grapgh,” “othe,” and “startes,” also reduce accuracy. Repetition of “million” and “increased” makes the description less flexible. Aim for standard trend language and accurate collocations, for example, “the number of jobs,” “rose steadily,” “declined,” and “remained stable.” This would make the account more concise and appropriate for describing data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences, for example, “Agriculture jobs started from 6 million but instead of getting more in numbers they went down…” However, these longer structures are often faulty, and most sentences rely on simple past-tense clauses joined by “and.” There are recurring problems with articles, prepositions, and verb forms: “Manufacturing had exact 15 million job 1960” needs clearer grammatical framing, while “healthcare startes from 3 million kept getting high” lacks a correctly formed verb sequence. “Retail and Healthcare kept increasing slowly from 1960 2020” also needs a preposition such as “to.” Use a wider mix of accurate sentence patterns, and check tense consistency and sentence boundaries.

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