Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

THE GRAPH ILLUSTRATE THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN FOUR SECTOR THAT IS MANUFACTURING RETAIL AGRICULTURE AND HEALTHCARE OF THE ECONOMY IN US FROM [redacted phone]

OVERALL THE SECTOR IN [redacted phone] OF MANUFACTURING N JOBS DECREASED SLIGHTLY WHEAREAS RETAIL MADE DRASTICAL CHANGES FROM LOWEST TO HIGHEST AT THE SAME TIME AGRICULTURE MADE TO LITTLE LOWEST AND REMAIN STABLE ON THE OTHER HAND HEALTHCARE MADE IT TO LOWEST TO HIGHEST AND SHOWED DRASTIC CHANGE

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify all four sectors and attempt an overview, noting that manufacturing declined and healthcare rose. However, the response reports very few chart details, so the main comparisons are not adequately summarised. For example, it does not mention manufacturing’s peak at about 20 million in 1980, retail’s rise from around 6 to 16 million, or healthcare’s growth from about 2 to 16 million. The claim that retail moved from “lowest to highest” is unclear and does not accurately describe its position across the period; healthcare, rather than retail, finishes joint-highest. The response is also 79 words below the required minimum. Add a clear overview and select key figures and comparisons to support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response into an opening statement and an overview, and phrases such as “whereas” and “on the other hand” show an effort to connect contrasting trends. However, the ideas are compressed into two long, unpunctuated lines, with no clear progression from an overview to supporting details. The repeated sequence of sector trends is difficult to follow, and “at the same time” does not clearly signal the relationship between the points. Use separate paragraphs, then describe related sectors together—for example, the rising trends in retail and healthcare—and use clear sentence boundaries and linking phrases. This would make the limited information easier to understand.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “sector,” “jobs,” “decreased,” “stable,” and “highest,” so the topic is recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or combinations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “made drastical changes,” “made to little lowest,” and “made it to lowest to highest.” These phrases make it hard to understand the intended trends. Spelling errors, including “wheareas,” also reduce clarity. Choose precise verbs commonly used for graphs, such as “rose,” “fell,” “remained stable,” and “reached a peak,” and use them with the sector names. Check spelling and use natural combinations such as “a dramatic increase” rather than “made drastic changes.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to form connected statements and use contrast clauses, but the response relies on a very limited range of sentence structures. Errors are frequent and sometimes obscure meaning. For instance, “The graph illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “the number of jobs in four sector” needs plural agreement. The opening also lacks clear sentence punctuation, and the overview contains a long sequence of clauses without reliable boundaries. The phrase “agriculture made to little lowest and remain stable” has problems with verb form and sentence construction. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, checking subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals, and past-tense verbs. Then combine ideas with accurate clauses and punctuation.

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