Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given graph displays the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in healthcare sector increased rapidly throughout the period. While the number of jobs agriculture sector decreased slowly throughout the whole period.

Healthcare sector sector, in 1960 the number of jobs is approximately 2.5 , and in 1980 the jobs is gradually increased to 5 also in 2000 , the jobs are instantly increased to more than 10, but in 2020 , it significantly moved to more than 15 .

Manufacturing sector , in 1960 the number of jobs is 15 and in 1980 the number of jobs moved to 20 , furthermore in 2000 the number of jobs falls to 17 approximately , Also in 2020 the jobs are instantly falls to less than 15.

Retail sector , in 1960 the jobs are starts from more than 5, also in 1980 the jobs increased to 10, furthermore in 2000 the jobs rapidly increased to 15 , and in 2020 it increased to 16 approximately.

agriculture sector , in 1960 it start from more than 5 but in 1980 it decreased to less than 5 and remain same like less than 5 in 2000 and in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and identify the main contrasting trends: healthcare and retail rise, while agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. The overview is relevant, though it would be stronger if it noted that retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, making them joint leaders, while agriculture remains the smallest sector. Most figures are broadly accurate, but healthcare starts at about 2 million rather than 2.5, and the final agriculture figure is about 2 million; the response does not state this clearly. Some descriptions, such as agriculture staying “less than 5,” are too imprecise to show the scale of change. Select key comparisons and report the approximate values more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate descriptions of the sectors. This makes the information generally easy to follow. However, the body paragraphs mostly list each year in sequence, so comparisons between sectors are limited, and the repeated pattern of “in 1960… in 1980… in 2000” makes progression mechanical. Linking words such as “also” and “furthermore” are used repeatedly, sometimes where a clearer contrast or comparison would help. Grouping the rising sectors together and contrasting them with manufacturing and agriculture would create a more logical flow. Use references such as “the former” or “both sectors” only when their meaning is unmistakable.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic vocabulary to describe the graph, including “increased,” “decreased,” “rapidly,” and “approximately,” and the main trends remain understandable. However, the range is limited by repeated use of “number of jobs” and “increased,” while several choices are inaccurate or unnatural. For example, “instantly increased” does not describe a change across a 20-year interval, and “moved to” is vague for a data trend. “Agriculture sector sector” also shows a word-selection or editing slip. Aim for precise verbs such as “rose,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “levelled off,” and vary expressions for employment figures. Check spelling and capitalisation, including “US.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences linked with words such as “while,” “but,” and “furthermore,” but control is uneven. Errors in verb forms and sentence construction appear in examples such as “the jobs are starts from” and “the number of jobs falls to 17,” where the tense does not consistently match the past period. Articles and agreement are also problematic in “in healthcare sector” and “the jobs is gradually increased.” Several comma splices and inconsistent punctuation make the longer descriptions harder to read. Use the past simple consistently for the historical data, check subject–verb agreement, and divide year-by-year descriptions into complete sentences. These changes would improve accuracy while retaining your attempts at varied structures.

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