Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

from 1960 to 2020 the best performng sector is manufacture .1980 are best proforming year that create 20 million jobs but than it started to decline 2020 number drop to just around 12 million on the other hand retail performe greate over all they create 5.2 million jobs but around time number grows to 15 million their show that they proforme overall good all those year . Agriculture proformance are not so great they performe worst from all of them their job graft decline are seriously concerning from 1980 to 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify manufacturing as the strongest sector at its peak and note its later decline, while also recognising growth in retail and a fall in agriculture. However, the response covers only part of the graph: healthcare is omitted, and there is no clear overall summary comparing the four sectors by 2020. Some figures are inaccurate or unclear: retail starts at about 6 million, not 5.2 million, and its rise to 16 million is not reported precisely. Agriculture falls from about 6 million in 1960 to 2 million in 2020, but the description of its decline is vague. The response is also 91 words, below the required 150. Include all four sectors, select key comparisons, and support them with accurate figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence through manufacturing, retail and agriculture, and phrases such as “on the other hand” signal a contrast. This gives the reader some sense of how the information is organised. However, the response is presented as one long, loosely connected passage, with abrupt transitions and no distinct overview. Several links are unclear, including “but around time number grows,” and repeated references to sectors “performing” do not establish a clear progression through the years. Group the information into an overview and one or two detail paragraphs, and use time markers such as “by 1980” and “from 2000 to 2020” to make comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt some task-relevant vocabulary, including “sector,” “decline,” “jobs” and “concerning,” and the reader can generally identify which industries you mean. However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are inaccurate, such as “best performng,” “proforming,” “job graft” and “perform overall good.” Repeating “perform” also makes the description imprecise; in a graph report, verbs such as “rise,” “fall,” “peak” and “remain stable” describe trends more directly. Spelling errors are noticeable and sometimes make the intended wording difficult to recognise. Build a small set of accurate trend vocabulary and check spelling and collocations before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response communicates a few basic comparisons using simple clauses, for example, “1980 are best proforming year” and “it started to decline.” There is an attempt to connect ideas with “but” and “on the other hand,” but sentence structures remain limited and many clauses are joined without clear punctuation. Errors in tense, agreement and sentence construction occur throughout: “1980 are” should be “1980 was,” while “their job graft decline are” lacks a clear grammatical structure. These problems make some relationships between figures difficult to understand. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and use past-tense forms consistently when describing the historical data.

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