Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates a significant amount of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the USA from the year 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the retail and healthcare field had a massive growth whereas, agriculture industry had a less demand till the year 2020

To begin with, the healthcare sector it didn't have much jobs in the beginning however, by the year 2020 the demand increased with around 16 million jobs in this sector. Secondly, the retail sector also had a steady growth. The figures same as healthcare, touching 16 million jobs till 2020.

Furthermore, the manufacturing industry was one of the demanding job in 1960 but had a major downfall in 1980. Although, the manufacturing sector has approx 13 million jobs in 2020 which is consider good as compared to retail and healthcare. The demand for agriculture sector didn't increase that much with only 3 million jobs by the year 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad pattern that retail and healthcare grew while agriculture declined, and you include some relevant endpoint figures, such as about 16 million jobs in healthcare and retail in 2020. However, the overview is incomplete: it omits manufacturing’s rise to a peak of 20 million in 1980 and subsequent decline, and the comparison that retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020. There is also a significant data error: manufacturing did not fall in 1980; it peaked then, before declining to about 13 million in 2020. Agriculture ended at about 2 million, not 3 million. The response is 143 words, below the 150-word minimum. Add a fuller overview and accurately describe the main changes across the period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic structure, with an introduction, an overview and two body paragraphs, and signposts such as “To begin with” and “Furthermore” help indicate topic changes. However, the progression is not consistently clear: the first body paragraph groups healthcare and retail, while the second shifts to manufacturing and agriculture without making the comparisons between these sectors explicit. Some linking is mechanical, and “Secondly” does not clearly show how the retail point relates to the healthcare point. The overview is also a single, loosely connected sentence. Organise the body around clear comparisons—for example, the two growing sectors together, followed by manufacturing and agriculture—and use linking phrases to show contrast and change over time.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “sector,” “steady growth,” “demand” and “million jobs,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing graph data. “A significant amount of jobs” is not an appropriate collocation, and “demanding job” does not mean a sector with many jobs. Repeating “demand” also makes the description less precise, since the graph reports job numbers rather than demand. Phrases such as “massive growth” and “major downfall” are overly informal or exaggerated for an academic summary. Use neutral, accurate terms such as “employment,” “increased,” “declined” and “reached a peak,” and check word forms and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence forms, including “Although, the manufacturing sector has approx 13 million jobs in 2020,” and use past-tense verbs such as “increased.” However, control is inconsistent, and several sentences contain errors that make the relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “the healthcare sector it didn't have much jobs” has an unnecessary subject pronoun and incorrect plural agreement; “the figures same as healthcare” is missing a verb; and “which is consider good” has an incorrect verb form. Punctuation also needs attention, particularly the comma after “Although” and the run-on construction in the overview. Practise complete sentence patterns, consistent past-tense reporting, and accurate agreement before adding more complex clauses.

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