Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph shows about the varieties of employments in four parts of the economy in United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, there is great increase in the jobs of retail and healthcare between 1960 and 2020. The manufacturing employments increases from 1960 to 1980 but gradually decreases after 1980 till 2020. While in agricultural sector only the rate decreases between 1960 and 2020.

In details, manufacturing jobs show first slight increase from 15 millions to 20 millions of jobs for three years(1960, 1970 and 1980). the retail sector of the economy shows a change from 5 millions of jobs and then gradually increases with years aroud 17 millions of employements till 2020.

Afterwards, in the parts of healthcare, the jobs started from aproximately 2 millions and icreases from lower level and shows a great change of increase to the same as retail between 1960 and 2020. The last one is agricultural jobs in which there is no improvement and only the slop decreases from 5 millions of job to around 2 millions of job among all years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall patterns: retail and healthcare rise, manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, and agriculture falls. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing’s rise from 15 to 20 million and healthcare’s increase from about 2 million to 16 million. This covers the task well, with the overview and key trends clearly present. Some details, however, are inaccurate or unclear: the graph gives retail as 6 million in 1960 and 16 million in 2020, not 5 and around 17, and manufacturing is shown at four dates rather than “three years (1960, 1970 and 1980).” The agricultural starting figure is also about 6 million, not 5. More precise comparisons would strengthen the account further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and a paragraph describing the individual sectors. This gives the reader a coherent overall route through the information. However, progression within the detail paragraph is less controlled: “Afterwards” does not clearly signal a comparison or a new stage, and “The last one” is an informal, imprecise reference to agriculture. Some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “and then” and “between 1960 and 2020.” Grouping the rising sectors together and then contrasting them with manufacturing and agriculture would make the comparisons easier to follow. Clearer references and more purposeful transitions would improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “gradually decreases,” “increase,” and “sector,” so the main trends are generally understandable. However, the range and control of word choice are limited, and several expressions are unnatural or imprecise for describing data. “Varieties of employments” and “manufacturing employments” do not express the intended meaning naturally; “the rate decreases” is also vague when referring to job numbers. There are noticeable spelling errors, including “aroud,” “aproximately,” and “icreases,” alongside repeated use of “jobs” and “increase.” Aim for accurate collocations such as “number of jobs,” “employment in the sector,” and “rose to,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including the contrast introduced by “While” and the clause beginning “in which.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the relationships between ideas harder to follow. For example, “The manufacturing employments increases” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “the jobs started from approximately 2 millions and increases” shifts tense and has an incorrect plural form. The sentence beginning “While in agricultural sector” is a fragment, and “the same as retail” lacks a clear grammatical comparison. Use past-tense verbs consistently for the historical data, check singular and plural forms, and make sure each sentence has a complete main clause.

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