Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph shows the number of jobs in ( Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare) sectors in the US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, in 1960 to1980 there are 5 millions jobs in Healthcare.In 1980 to 2000 there are 11 millions jobs in Healthcare. In 2000 to 2020 there are 16 millions jobs in Healthcare. In 1960 there are 6 millions jobs in Agriculture While, in 1980 to 2000 time it was fall down to 3 millions. At the same away , in 2020 the number of jobs in Agriculture was 2.5 millions. In 1960 the number of jobs in Retail was 5.5 millions. While, in 1980 it has increased to 10 millions. At the same away, in 2000 to 2020 the number of jobs in Retail was 15 millions and 15.5 millions.In 1960, there are 15 millions jobs in Manufacturing. For a while, it has increased to 20 millions. at last, in 2000 to 2020 the number of jobs in Manufacturing decreaased to 16 and 13 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You cover all four sectors and include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing rising to 20 million jobs in 1980 and agriculture declining to about 2 million by 2020. However, the response is only partially successful because it lacks a clear overview of the main patterns: for example, manufacturing peaks and then falls, while retail and healthcare rise substantially. Instead, the opening overview-like paragraph lists figures period by period. Some details are also inaccurate: healthcare had 2 million jobs in 1960, not 5 million; 5 million was its 1980 figure. Retail was about 6 million in 1960 and 16 million in 2020, rather than 5.5 and 15.5 million. Group the major trends in a concise overview, then support them with accurate comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic sequence, moving through healthcare, agriculture, retail and manufacturing, so the reader can identify which sectors are being discussed. However, there is no clear paragraphing or overall progression from an overview to supporting details, and the repeated pattern of “In [year]…” makes the report feel like a list. Linking expressions are often inaccurate or awkward: “At the same away” and “For a while” do not clearly express the intended relationships, while repeated “While” fragments interrupt the flow. Organise the report into an introduction, a brief overview, and one or two detail paragraphs. Use precise links such as “By contrast,” “Meanwhile,” and “After peaking in 1980” to show comparisons and changes over time.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough basic vocabulary to identify the sectors and describe simple changes, including “increased,” “fall down,” and “decreased.” However, the range is limited and several choices or collocations are noticeably inaccurate, which can make the meaning less clear. “At the same away” is not an appropriate expression, and “For a while” does not convey a temporary rise in this context. The repeated use of “the number of jobs” also limits variety. Aim for accurate trend language and standard collocations, such as “employment in agriculture fell,” “rose steadily,” and “reached a peak.” Check spelling as well: “decreaased” should be “decreased.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Most of the report uses simple sentence patterns, and the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. However, the range is limited, and frequent errors in sentence construction, tense, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the text difficult to follow. For example, “in 1960 to1980 there are 5 millions jobs” has an unclear time relationship and incorrect agreement and plural form; “While, in 1980…” is an incomplete sentence, and “it has increased” shifts tense unnecessarily in a report about past data. There are also missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent capitalisation. Practise complete past-tense sentences, for example, “Healthcare employment rose from 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980,” and proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries.

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