Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph depicts about the figures of employment in four sectors of the economy (manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare) in the United states from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it can be seen that manufacturing dominated the market at the start while healthcare contributed least numbers. Retail which accounted for second largest sector in the beginning peaked at the highest along with the healthcare.

Manufacturing and agriculture shows the downward trend. Manufacturing which started at 15 million jobs in 1960 followed a steep drop in 2020 despite a rise in 1980. Agriculture begin with more that 5 million jobs experienced a steady declinein 1980 keeping the same pattern till 2000 and then drop to less than 3 million jobs.

Retail and healthcare sector illustrates the upward trajectory. Retail started at just over 5 million jobs shows a increasing pattern and dominated at more than 15 million jobs in 2020 dominating the all sectors.On the other hand, healthcare was least jobs provider in 1960

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare rise, and your overview notes manufacturing’s initial lead and healthcare’s low starting point. Several figures are also accurate, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and agriculture at about 3 million in 1980 and 2000. However, some key comparisons are incomplete or imprecise. Manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million, rather than simply undergoing a “steep drop” in 2020. Retail did not finish as the sole leading sector: it and healthcare both reached about 16 million in 2020. The final healthcare point is also left unfinished, and the crossover between the sectors is not explained. Develop these details to make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, a brief overview, and separate paragraphs grouping the declining and rising sectors. This grouping helps the reader follow the main trends, and transitions such as “Overall” and “On the other hand” signal relationships between ideas. However, progression within the body paragraphs is sometimes unclear. The manufacturing sentence compresses its rise and later fall into an awkward sequence, while the retail and healthcare paragraph ends abruptly after introducing healthcare. Some linking is also mechanical, and the final comparison does not clearly connect the two sectors’ equal 2020 figures. Complete the last point and use clearer sequencing to guide the reader through the years and comparisons.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “dominated,” “steady decline,” “upward trajectory,” and “peaked,” which helps describe trends rather than merely list figures. The meaning is generally understandable, but some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “depicts about the figures,” “contributed least numbers,” and “dominating the all sectors.” There are also spelling and spacing slips, including “declinein” and “more that,” which reduce precision. Aim for standard chart-description phrases such as “shows the number of jobs,” “had the fewest jobs,” and “was joint highest.” More accurate collocations will make your vocabulary sound more natural and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including relative clauses such as “Manufacturing which started at 15 million jobs…” and contrastive phrasing with “On the other hand.” The main trends remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “Manufacturing and agriculture shows” and “Retail and healthcare sector illustrates”; use plural verbs for two sectors, or a singular verb with a clearly singular subject. Tense and sentence construction also need attention in “Retail started … shows a increasing pattern,” where the verb forms do not fit together. Punctuation and sentence boundaries are sometimes weak, particularly where ideas run together. Proofread agreement, articles, and verb forms while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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