Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph elaborates the employment levels in sectors like manufacturing, retail, Agriculture, Healthcare of the economy from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, The Manufacturing sector Fluctuated in the timeframe. The retail sector and the healthcare increased from 1960 to 2020. Agriculture drecreased.

The manufacturing sector started from 15 million jobs in 1960 and peaked at 20 million in 1980. The graph gradually decreased at 17 million employment in 2000 and then finally at 13 million jobs in 2020.

The retail sector increased 3 times in between the timeframe. It was at 6 million jobs in 1960, raised the level of employment at 10 million in next twenty years. The number again increased at 15 million in 2000 and finally it was 16 million jobs in 2020 which is 3 times from beginning.

The third one is agriculture sector which Decreased in the whole timeframe. It gave 6 millions of employment to the economy in 1960. Gradually decreased at 3 milion in 1980 and remained same in 2000 as well. At last in dropped at 2 millions of employment in 2020.

The last one is healthcare sector. It Increased the numbers of employment like the retail sector . In 1960 it started from 2 millions then increased at 5 million in 1980. The number rapidly increased in 2000 at 12 millions then lastly it again raised at 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You cover all four sectors and report the main movements with generally accurate figures: manufacturing peaks at 20 million before falling, agriculture declines, and retail and healthcare rise. The overview identifies these broad trends, and the body gives useful year-by-year detail. This is a strong response to the task, with some features already clearly selected and supported. To make the account more complete and precise, highlight the key comparison at the end: retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million jobs in 2020, while agriculture is lowest. Also correct the healthcare figure for 2000, which is about 11 million rather than 12. The claim that retail increased “3 times” is inaccurate; it rose by 10 million, to roughly 2.7 times its starting level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged in a clear sequence: an introduction and overview are followed by separate paragraphs for each sector. This makes the information easy to locate, and time markers such as “in 1980,” “in 2000,” and “finally” help show progression. However, the repeated pattern of introducing each sector and listing its figures makes the report somewhat mechanical. Some linking phrases are also awkward, such as “raised the level of employment at 10 million” and “The third one is agriculture sector.” Improve flow by grouping related trends—for example, compare the rising retail and healthcare lines—and use clearer references between sentences. A more concise overview that foregrounds the contrasting outcomes would also strengthen the progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “peaked,” “gradually decreased,” and “remained same,” so the main information is understandable. There is some variety in how you describe increases and decreases, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a graph report. “The graph elaborates the employment levels” is not a natural way to introduce the data, and “increased 3 times” does not express the retail change accurately. Spelling errors such as “drecreased” and “milion” also reduce control. Aim for precise collocations and consistent terms such as “number of jobs,” “rose to,” and “fell to.” This would make your vocabulary more accurate and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple sentences and some longer structures, and the reader can generally follow the trends. However, grammatical control is uneven, with errors in articles, agreement, verb patterns, and sentence construction. For example, “The retail sector and the healthcare increased” has an unnecessary article and an agreement problem, while “It was at 6 million jobs … raised the level” is an incomplete or awkwardly joined construction. In “It gave 6 millions of employment,” the sentence pattern and plural form are also faulty. Capitalisation is inconsistent, as in “The Manufacturing sector Fluctuated.” Practise building accurate comparisons and trend sentences, such as “Retail employment rose from 6 million to 10 million,” and check articles, verb forms, and punctuation.

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