Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in different sectors of the US economy including manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, over a 60 year period from [redacted phone].

Overall, the employment rate in both retail and healthcare sectors increased in considerable amounts. On the contrary, in the agriculture sector the number of jobs saw a decline over the period. In the manufacturing sector there were some fluctuations.

Looking at the retail first, the jobs increased rapidly from 6 million to 16 million. On the other hand healthcare sector saw a sharp rise from 2 million to 16 million jobs. By the end of 2020 both retail and agriculture sectors are on the same level in terms of employment.

By contrast, the jobs in agriculture sector decreased steadily from 6 million to 2 million over the period. Looking at manufacturing, initially there was a sharp rise in the jobs during the period of [redacted phone], where the number of jobs increased from 15 million to 20 million, with the highest rate of employement during the overall period, but later on there was a decline in the jobs and reached to 13 million by the end of 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the four sectors and give a clear overview of the main directions: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture falls, and manufacturing fluctuates. Several figures are accurate, including manufacturing’s peak at 20 million in 1980 and its fall to 13 million by 2020. However, the comparison that “both retail and agriculture sectors are on the same level” in 2020 is inaccurate: retail and healthcare are both at about 16 million, while agriculture is at about 2 million. The manufacturing trend is described in more detail than the other series, and the account could better compare the leading sectors at key dates. Check each end-point comparison carefully and include the important convergence of retail and healthcare by 2020.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs describing the rising sectors and the declining or fluctuating ones. This makes the main trends easy to follow. Linking phrases such as “On the contrary” and “By contrast” help signal comparisons, although the transitions sometimes feel mechanical, and “Looking at the retail first” is an awkward way to begin a comparison. The sentence claiming retail and agriculture finish at the same level also disrupts the progression because it conflicts with the figures just described. Grouping retail and healthcare together, then contrasting agriculture and manufacturing, would make the comparisons more consistent. Use referencing and linking expressions to clarify relationships rather than simply mark each new point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “fluctuations,” “sharp rise,” “decline,” and “employment,” and the meaning is generally clear. Some choices are imprecise or do not collocate naturally: “employment rate” suggests a proportion rather than a number of jobs, while “increased in considerable amounts” is less natural than a direct description of the rise. “Highest rate of employement” is also an inaccurate phrase for the highest number of jobs, and “employement” is misspelled. Aim for precise language that describes quantities and trends, such as “job numbers,” “rose substantially,” and “reached a peak.” This would make the report more concise and accurate without requiring more elaborate vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “where” and “while,” and most sentences communicate the intended trend. Some grammatical errors remain. For example, “in the agriculture sector the number of jobs saw a decline” needs an article before “agriculture sector,” and “the jobs in agriculture sector” has the same issue. In “there was a decline in the jobs and reached to 13 million,” the subject changes unclearly and “reached to” is not the correct verb pattern; write “job numbers declined, reaching 13 million.” The phrase “both retail and agriculture sectors” also needs clearer article and number handling. Review articles, subject continuity, and verb patterns while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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