Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph depicts the information about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US increases expect agriculture sector. The Retail and Heathcare had the highest rate of economy ,while griculture had the lowest among all categories.

By 1960, Manufacturing was the highest throughout the period at 15 millions followed by Retail and Agricuture consisted of 6 millions both. Moreover, Agriculture was around 2 millions respectively.

From 1980 , Manufacturing was accounted for 20 millions decline steadily at about 17millions in 2000 whereas, Retail grew sharply at 10 millions and further climed up to 15 millions in 2000. Furthermore, Heathcare rose steadily from 5 millions in 1980 and 11 millions in 2000. Similarly, Agriculture decline slightly at 3 millions and remained stable in 2000.

Regarding 2020, Manufacturing show a dramatic fell at 14 millions likewise, Healthcare and Retail rise at 16 millions . In addition Agriculture decline slowly at 2 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the main sectors and report several relevant trends, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak before falling, retail and healthcare growth, and agriculture’s decline. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: “the number of jobs … increases expect agriculture” overlooks manufacturing’s fall after 1980, and the claim that retail and healthcare “had the highest rate” does not explain that they tie at about 16 million in 2020. There is also a factual error in the opening figures: agriculture was about 6 million in 1960, not 2 million. The response is 145 words, below the required 150, and some comparisons remain underdeveloped. A more precise overview and accurate selection of key figures would strengthen coverage.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs organised around earlier years and 2020. This gives the reader a basic route through the data. However, progression is sometimes difficult to follow because the overview is vague and the time-based paragraphs combine several series without consistently clarifying comparisons. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “Similarly” are used, but some do not show a clear relationship between the facts that follow. The sentence beginning “By 1960” also gives agriculture’s value incorrectly, which disrupts the comparison. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sector separately, while using clear time references, would make the organisation more coherent and less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “decline steadily,” “grew sharply,” “rose steadily,” and “remained stable,” so the main trends are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “Heathcare,” “griculture,” “Agricuture,” “climed,” and “dramatic fell.” Some phrases are also unnatural, such as “highest rate of economy” and “Manufacturing was accounted for 20 millions.” Use standard sector names consistently and choose accurate collocations for describing figures and trends. For example, say that manufacturing “stood at 20 million jobs” and later “fell markedly,” rather than using the faulty constructions. More precise vocabulary would help distinguish levels, changes, and comparisons.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses linked with “whereas” and “while,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, errors are frequent, particularly with verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction. Examples include “the number … increases expect agriculture,” “Manufacturing was accounted for 20 millions decline,” and “Manufacturing show a dramatic fell.” The sentence “The Retail and Heathcare had the highest rate of economy” also has faulty article use and an unclear grammatical structure. Tense control is inconsistent when describing the completed period, and punctuation around clauses is sometimes awkward. Practise using a consistent past tense and straightforward patterns such as “Retail rose from 6 million to 16 million jobs.”

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