Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph below depicts informatoion about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, there was a significant increase and decrease in four sectors in the US. The manufacturing factor fluctuated throughout the years. In addition, the retail factor fisrt increased and then decreased. After that, the agriculture factor almost remain same in number of years. The Healthcare factor also fluctuated.
Intially, number of jobs in US from 1960 to 2020 fluctuated. The maunufacturing rised in first decade after that it will continuously droped from 1980 to 2020.The retail factor increased from 1960 to 2000 after that it remains same from 2000 to 2010. The healthcare factor saw a little rise in between 1960 to 1980 then it
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5
The response identifies the four sectors and attempts an overview, but the main features are not reported accurately or fully. For example, manufacturing rises to a peak in 1980 and then declines, while retail and healthcare both rise overall; describing these patterns as generally “fluctuated” is too vague. The claim that retail “remains same from 2000 to 2010” does not match the chart’s 2000 and 2020 points, and the response ends before completing its account of healthcare or reporting agriculture’s trend in detail. The required minimum of 150 words is not met: the response contains 110 words, with 18 copied prompt words excluded. Include a complete overview and select key figures and comparisons to support it.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a basic attempt to organise the response, with an overview followed by a paragraph describing trends. Sequencing expressions such as “Overall,” “In addition,” and “After that” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is difficult to follow because the overview lists each sector separately without clearly grouping the main patterns, and the second paragraph repeats the same sector-by-sector approach. The final sentence is unfinished (“then it”), which leaves the account incomplete and disrupts the flow. Some linking phrases are also used mechanically rather than to clarify comparisons. Grouping the rising sectors together and contrasting them with manufacturing and agriculture would create a clearer progression.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The response uses a small range of relevant terms, including “increase,” “decrease,” “fluctuated,” and “rise,” so the general subject is understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “factor” is repeatedly used for a sector, and “rised” and “droped” show problems with word form and spelling. There are also spelling errors such as “informatoion,” “fisrt,” “Intially,” and “maunufacturing.” More precise trend language would help distinguish a peak, a steady decline, and a gradual rise. Use the sector names directly and vary verbs and nouns appropriately, while checking spelling before submitting.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts both simple and joined sentences, and the opening overview shows an effort to describe several trends in connected clauses. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in verb forms and tense. Examples include “the manufacturing rised” and “it will continuously droped,” where the verb forms do not fit the past-time data. “The agriculture factor almost remain same” also lacks the correct verb form and article, while “from 1960 to 2000 after that it remains same” needs clearer sentence boundaries and tense consistency. The final clause is incomplete. Practise accurate past-tense forms and use complete sentences with clear punctuation; a wider range of structures will be useful once these basic patterns are controlled.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.