Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The data in this line chart illustrates the information about number of jobs in four economic areas during the time period of 1960 and 2020 in US.

Overall it showed growing trend in retail and health care sectors through out the period while agriculture sector observe a declining trend and had lowest number of jobs through out the timeline. Manufacturing sector had highest number of jobs most of time period depite its number is decreasing since 1980.

In 1960 Manufacturing sector had 15 millions of jobs that rose to 20 millions of jobs in 1980 and after that it start decreasing in 2000 it was aproximately 17 millions and line converge with growing retail industry in early 2000 and in 2020 it was at around 13 millions jobs however, it produced most number of jobs throughout the timeline.

Retail and healthcare sectors both observe a parallel growth trend in starting half of time, in 1990 retail industry was at 5 millions of jobs and health care was at around 2.5 millions of jobs.In 1980 both Retail and healthcare sectors doubled 10 millions of jobs and 5 millions of jobs and in 2000 health care start growing at high speed as compared to retail and their graph converge in year 2020 at same 15 million jobs. Agriculture sector was lowest number of jobs sctor through out the period

in year 1960 it was at 5 millions jobs which observe almost 50 percent decline in 1980 and become around 2.5 millions jobs and after that it just observe small noticeable fluctuation during next 4 decades.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks in 1980 before falling. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980. However, some comparisons and details are unclear or inaccurate. The chart shows retail and healthcare both at 16 million in 2020, not 15 million, and they do not converge in 2000; retail is about 15 million while healthcare is about 11 million then. The reference to retail being at 5 million in 1990 is unsupported by the chart, which gives data only at four-year points. The overview is relevant, but more precise reporting of the key comparisons would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about manufacturing, retail, healthcare and agriculture. This helps the reader follow the broad subject. However, progression within the body paragraphs is uneven: the second paragraph shifts between manufacturing’s decline and its comparison with retail, while the next combines retail, healthcare and agriculture without a clear organising principle. Some linking phrases, such as “after that” and “and in 2020,” are repetitive, and the long sentences make relationships between figures harder to follow. Separate the sectors into clearer comparison groups and use concise transitions to show changes over time. This would make the organisation more consistently logical and cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “growing trend,” “declining trend,” “rose,” and “decreasing,” so the main information is generally understandable. There is some repetition of “sector,” “jobs,” and “through out,” and several word choices or collocations are awkward, such as “line converge,” “observe a parallel growth trend,” and “most number of jobs.” Spelling errors including “depite,” “aproximately,” and “sctor” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more precise, natural expressions such as “the lines converged,” “followed a similar upward trend,” and “the largest number of jobs.” A wider set of accurate trend verbs and comparison phrases would help you describe the data more flexibly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses linked with “while,” “after that,” and “as compared to,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, some errors in sentence structure, tense, agreement, articles and punctuation remain. For example, “Overall it showed growing trend” needs an article and a clearer subject, while “agriculture sector observe” has incorrect agreement and tense. The sentence beginning “In 1960 Manufacturing sector…” runs on through several changes and would be clearer if divided into shorter sentences. There are also missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent capitalisation. Check subject–verb agreement, use past tense consistently for the historical data, and punctuate long comparisons carefully.

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