Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line chart given below describes information about the amount of jobs in four sectors of the economy :- manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US between 1960 and 2020.

In 1960, the manufacturing was having the maximum number of jobs which was 15 millions and went to 20 millions in year 1980, but it's trend started decreasing after 1980 and reached to approximately 16 millions and 13 millions in year 2000 and 2020. Jobs in retail and healthcare showed an increasing trend around all given 4 decades. In 1960 there were very few jobs in this 2 sectors which was around 6 millions and 2 millions in retail and healthcare sector respectively. But in the following years demand started growing and both the sectors reached to approximately 16 millions jobs in year 2020.

on contrary, there was a negative trend in the job of agriculture. In 1960 there were around 6 million jobs same as retail but after that retail showed positive trend and reached to the top and agriculture sector showed negative trend and went down to only around 2 million jobs.

In conclusion, demand of retail and healthcare sector was increased with time where as on the other side the demand of manufacturing and agriculture sector was decreased.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and healthcare at 2 million. However, some comparisons are incomplete or imprecise. Retail and healthcare do not both reach approximately 16 million only as a general shared endpoint: retail is about 16 million in 2020, while healthcare rises to that level from around 11 million in 2000. The overview also says manufacturing decreased over time, although it first increased substantially. Include a clearer overview of the key ranking changes, especially that retail and healthcare finish joint highest, and report the intermediate figures more accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph on manufacturing and the rising sectors, a paragraph on agriculture, and a concluding summary. This makes the main trends easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “but,” “on contrary,” and “where as” show an effort to connect contrasting information, although some are awkward or repetitive, and the conclusion largely repeats earlier points. The first body paragraph combines three sectors, while agriculture is separated without a fully balanced comparison. To improve progression, group the two rising sectors together and compare their different starting points and growth, then contrast them with the declining sectors. Use referencing and transitions more naturally so the connections do not feel formulaic.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “increasing trend,” “negative trend,” “reached,” and “demand,” and the reader can understand the main comparisons. However, some choices are imprecise or repetitive: “amount of jobs” is less suitable for countable jobs, and “demand” is not what the graph directly measures; it shows numbers of jobs. Phrases such as “very few jobs” and “went down” are understandable but informal or vague for an academic summary. Aim for more precise trend language and vary your descriptions, for example by using “employment,” “rose steadily,” or “declined to.” This would make the account more accurate and appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses linked with “but” and “whereas,” and the overall meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors nevertheless recur. For example, “the manufacturing was having” has an unnecessary article and an awkward verb form; “both the sectors reached” has incorrect number agreement; and “demand … was increased” uses an unsuitable passive construction. There are also errors in articles and sentence punctuation, such as the lower-case opening “on contrary” after a paragraph break. Use simple past forms consistently for the historical data, check singular and plural agreement, and form comparisons with structures such as “employment in both sectors rose.”

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