Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This passage gives the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 to 2020. The retail and healthcare jobs increase the most but the end of the 2020 and there is large decrease in the manufacturing and agriculture jobs by the end of the 2020.

On the one hand the we see the bullish trend in the retail and healthcare sectors in 1960 the retail sector have around 6 million jobs but the end of 2020 around 16 million jobs and healthcare sector have 2 million jobs but the end of 2020 it gives 10 million jobs and it is the biggest change.

On the other side we see bearish trend in manufacturing and agriculture sectors. In 1960 manufacturing sector have 15 million jobs but trend shift from bullish to bearish by the end of 1980 and in 2020 manufacturing sector jobs goes to 13 million. The agriculture sector jobs drop from 6 million to around 2 million.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad contrast between rising employment in retail and healthcare and falling employment in manufacturing and agriculture, and you include several relevant figures. However, some key details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare rises from about 2 million to 16 million, not 10 million, and manufacturing peaks at about 20 million in 1980 before declining, rather than simply shifting trend by the end of that year. The overview also says there is a “large decrease” in manufacturing, although its fall is more moderate than agriculture’s. The response reports selected trends but does not clearly compare the sectors at the end of the period, when retail and healthcare are both around 16 million. More accurate figures and a sharper overview would make the summary more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall structure: an opening summary is followed by one paragraph on rising sectors and another on declining sectors. This grouping helps the reader follow the main contrast. However, progression within the paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and linking phrases such as “On the one hand” and “On the other side” feel mechanical rather than helping to explain relationships between the data. The opening sentence also repeats the task wording without adding much organisation, while the final paragraph ends abruptly without a concluding comparison. Use clearer sequencing, for example, first describing the overall trends and then comparing the 2020 figures, and make references such as “it” explicit so the reader can easily identify the sector being discussed.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increase,” “decrease,” “bullish trend,” and “drop,” and the main meaning is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several choices are unsuitable for formal chart description. “Bullish” and “bearish” are normally associated with financial markets, not employment trends, and “it gives 10 million jobs” is an unnatural way to describe a figure. Repeated use of “jobs” and “sector” also makes the account less varied. There are noticeable word-choice and spelling issues, including “us” instead of “US” and “trend shift” where a more natural verb phrase is needed. More precise trend vocabulary and standard collocations would improve clarity and appropriacy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some longer sentences, including comparisons using “but,” but the range of sentence structures is limited and errors occur frequently. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent: “the retail sector have” and “manufacturing sector have” should use “has.” Articles and sentence construction are also problematic in “On the one hand the we see” and “but the end of 2020 around 16 million,” where the clause is incomplete. The phrase “between 1960 to 2020” uses the wrong preposition pattern, and tense and number choices are not consistently controlled. These errors sometimes make relationships between figures difficult to follow. Practise accurate simple comparisons first, then combine them into longer sentences with controlled clauses and punctuation.

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