Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of economy(Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, Healthcare) in the US from 1960 to till 2020.

Overall, Retail and Healthcare are the ones in which jobs were increased from the starting year. Manufacturing started with the highest number of jobs even peaked at a point but after that it declined. Agriculture was pleatued for years in between but it also falled slightly.

Healthcare at the starting year 1960 was at around 2.5 million jobs. It is keep getting increased year by year and peaked at approximately 16 million jobs in the year 2020.

Whereas, was at around 6 million jobs at the start and it also showed a upward trend and in 2000 jobs in retail were 15 million, also from 2000 to 2020 there was a slight increase in jobs in the retail sector peaking at approximately 16 million.

Although, Manufacturing started from 15 million openings in the 1960 and even recorded the highest number of jobs in the year 1980 with 20 million. But after the year 1980 it fell drastically and in the year 2020 jobs in manufacturing were around 13 million. Moreover,

Agriculture was at 6 million at the start but decreased in 1980 and reached around 3 million jobs and remained unchanged till 2000, even after 2000 there was only a slight change in openings in year 2020 by around a million and marking the lowest at 2 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response selects the main trends and makes relevant comparisons: manufacturing begins highest, peaks in 1980, then declines, while retail and healthcare rise and agriculture falls to the lowest level. The figures are generally accurate, including manufacturing at 20 million in 1980 and agriculture at about 2 million in 2020. The overview also identifies the broad direction of change across the sectors. To make the account more precise, avoid saying healthcare increased “year by year,” since the graph only gives four points, and clarify that retail and healthcare finish at roughly the same level. The description of manufacturing’s fall as “drastic” is somewhat overstated; it declines from 20 to 13 million. Overall, the key features are covered, though some descriptions could be more carefully calibrated.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate discussion of the rising and declining sectors. This helps the reader follow the main comparisons. However, progression within paragraphs is weakened by awkward or unclear links. For example, “Whereas, was at around 6 million” has no clear subject, so the shift to retail is difficult to follow, and “Although” at the start of the manufacturing paragraph is not followed by a contrasting main clause. “Moreover” also introduces agriculture without a clear relationship to the preceding point. Use explicit topic sentences and connect each sector directly to its figures; avoid linking words that do not express the intended relationship. These issues make cohesion uneven despite the overall paragraph structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “peaked,” “declined,” “upward trend,” and “remained unchanged.” This gives it enough range to report the graph, but several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits clarity and precision. “Jobs were increased” is not a natural way to describe a rising figure; “the number of jobs increased” is more suitable. “Openings” is also an imprecise substitute for jobs, and “pleatued” is misspelled and not the appropriate form here. Some phrases, such as “falled slightly,” show difficulty selecting the correct word form. Aim for consistent, accurate trend language rather than varying terms when the alternatives do not fit.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

There are attempts at complex sentences and contrast, but control is inconsistent, and errors occur often enough to make some sentences awkward or unclear. Examples include “from 1960 to till 2020,” “It is keep getting increased,” and “Whereas, was at around 6 million,” which contain faulty tense or sentence construction. The sentence beginning “Although, Manufacturing…” is also incomplete in its structure, while “there was only a slight change in openings in year 2020” has problems with articles and phrasing. Use past simple consistently for the historical data, and check that every contrast clause has a complete main clause and a clear subject. Shorter, well-formed sentences would improve accuracy while you build more reliable complex structures.

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