Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The graph elucidate information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. All these information in the form of number and persantage.
In 1960 US had manufacturing jobs persantage is 15%,and 1980 US had 20% jobs. In 2000 US had 17% of jobs in manufacturing, and 2020 US had 13% of jobs in manufacturing.
Retail jobs in US had 6% in 1960 and in 1980 10% of jobs in retail. 2000 had 15% of jobs in retail, and 2020 had 16% of retail jobs.Agriculture jobs in US had 6% in1960, and in 1980 had 3% of jobs in agriculture. 2000 had 3% of jobs in agreculture, and in 2020 had 2% of jobs in agreculture.
Healthcare jobs in US had 2% in 1960, and in 1980 had 5% of healthcare jobs. 2000 had 12% of jobs in helthcare, and 2020 had 16% of jobs in US.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You report figures for all four sectors and capture several broad patterns, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 before declining and agriculture falling overall. However, the response has no clear overview of the main comparisons, and it describes the figures as percentages even though the graph measures jobs in millions. Healthcare in 2000 is also given as 12 rather than approximately 11 million. The report is under the required minimum: it contains 137 words, with 19 words copied from the prompt excluded from the count. These omissions and the limited interpretation mean the task is addressed only minimally; add a concise overview and explain the key changes and comparisons accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response is arranged in a generally understandable order: manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare are each discussed in turn, so the reader can locate the information. However, there is no introduction that paraphrases the task separately from the details, nor a concluding overview that draws the trends together. Most sentences follow the same repeated pattern, such as “In 1960…” and “in 1980…,” which makes the progression mechanical rather than showing how the sectors compare. Some links between clauses are also awkward, and spacing after punctuation is inconsistent. Grouping related trends—for example, the rising retail and healthcare figures—would create a clearer overall progression.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is sufficient to identify the four sectors and report basic changes, using terms such as “jobs,” “manufacturing,” and “agriculture.” However, the range is limited and repetitive, with “jobs” and “had” used repeatedly instead of more precise trend language. Some word choices are inaccurate for the visual: “persantage” suggests percentages, whereas the chart reports numbers of jobs in millions. There are also spelling errors, including “agreculture” and “helthcare,” and the opening phrase “All these information” is not a natural expression. Use accurate units and a wider set of verbs such as “rose,” “declined,” and “remained stable” to make the report clearer and more appropriate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
Most of the response uses short, simple statements, and the reader can usually understand the intended figures. However, the sentence structures are very repetitive, and frequent errors affect accuracy. For example, “All these information in the form of number” is a sentence fragment, while “manufacturing jobs persantage is 15%” lacks a clear grammatical structure. Several clauses are joined without appropriate punctuation, as in “15%,and 1980,” and articles or prepositions are often missing or awkwardly placed. To improve, use complete sentences with a consistent past-tense reporting pattern, and practise combining related figures with accurate conjunctions and punctuation.
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