Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph below represents four types of jobs and how many jobs were between 1960 to 2020. We can see a huge increase of manufacturing jobs where the numbers start from 15 in 1960, and go to 20 the next year but the same jobs start to fall back to 15 million in 2000 and 2020. From this picture, we can obtain a huge information about the agriculture jobs where people are not showing interest; we can see an insufficient number of 6 million in 1960 and a declining number of less than 5 million in 2020 which is more harmful.
Also, the economy is favourable for retail jobs and healthcare jobs where the number of jobs has an increase every year, up to more than 15 million for both sectors, which is absolutely remarkable because our population needs to work and find jobs in every single sector which is beneficial for them.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify all four sectors and report several relevant figures, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and agriculture declining from 6 million to below 5 million. However, some details are inaccurate: manufacturing falls to about 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020, not 15 million in both years. Retail and healthcare do not increase every year: retail rises to 16 million overall, while healthcare reaches 16 million by 2020. The response also lacks a clear, neutral overview of the main patterns and includes unsupported commentary about workers’ interest and the benefits of employment. Select the key trends accurately and summarise them without speculation.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a basic structure, moving from manufacturing and agriculture to retail and healthcare, and the paragraph break helps separate the information. Some linking phrases, such as “Also” and “where,” connect ideas, but the progression is not consistently clear: the first paragraph combines two sectors, while the second groups the other two without comparing their distinct patterns. Repeated references to “we can see” and “from this picture” make the organisation feel mechanical, and the final sentence shifts from describing the graph to general commentary. A clearer overview followed by logically grouped comparisons would strengthen the flow and make the relationships between sectors easier to follow.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use some relevant terms, including “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” “declining,” and “increase,” so the reader can identify the sectors and broad movements. However, the range is limited and several choices are imprecise or unnatural for a data report. “A huge information” is an unsuitable collocation, while “the economy is favourable for” and “people are not showing interest” introduce meanings that the graph does not establish. Repetition of “jobs,” “number,” and “we can see” also limits flexibility. Use precise trend language and neutral reporting vocabulary, such as “rose,” “fell,” “remained stable,” and “accounted for,” while avoiding evaluative claims not supported by the figures.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the main message is generally understandable. However, control is uneven in several sentence patterns. In “how many jobs were between 1960 to 2020,” the time expression and verb construction are faulty; “the numbers start from 15 … and go to 20 the next year” also uses an inaccurate time reference, since the next data point is 1980. The sentence beginning “where the number of jobs has an increase” has an awkward clause structure, and “a huge information” shows an article problem. Tense use shifts between past data and present commentary. Practise concise past-tense reporting and check clause construction, articles, and prepositions.
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