Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line chart shows the trend of the number of jobs over a period of 60 years from 1960 to 2020 in the four areas of US economy.

Overall, jobs in healthcare an retail sectors have considerably increased, whereas manufacturing and agricultural jobs have shown downward trend in the US economy.

Jobs in manufacturing and agricuturel economy were showing downward trend. Munufacturing sector accounts for 15 millions jobs in 1960, reaching to its peak in 1980 for 20 million employments then it ends up around 13 million in 2020. On the other hand, agriculture economy of the US accompained around 6 millions jobs in 1960 and it continuously declining over the period and reaches to around 2 million in 2020. However, Retail and Healthcare sectors employments were shown rising trend over the period. Retail jobs were 6 million in 1960 and gradually increased to just over 15 million in 2020. Similarly, healthcare sectors jobs have shown considerable rise from 2 million to around 16 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response identifies the main overall contrast: healthcare and retail employment rose, while agriculture declined and manufacturing fell after reaching a peak. It also reports several key figures accurately, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million in 1980 and its later fall to about 13 million, as well as agriculture’s decline from 6 to 2 million. The account is relevant and gives a clear overview, but some trends are compressed or imprecise. For example, manufacturing did not show a general downward trend across the whole period, since it first increased substantially. Retail reached about 16 million by 2020, rather than “just over 15,” and healthcare’s strong rise is not described at the intermediate points. More precise comparisons and clearer treatment of the changing stages would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response is organised into an introduction, an overview and a body paragraph, and its progression from the broad trends to sector details is easy to follow. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “On the other hand,” “However” and “Similarly” help signal comparisons. The body also groups the declining sectors before the rising ones, which gives the information a clear structure. However, the contrast markers are somewhat repetitive, and the paragraph’s opening repeats the overview rather than adding a distinct point. The relationship between the sectors could be made more explicit—for instance, noting that retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020, while manufacturing remained lower. More varied linking and tighter sequencing would make the cohesion more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “considerably increased,” “peak,” “gradually increased” and “declining.” These choices make the main movements understandable. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “agricultural jobs have shown downward trend,” “agriculture economy,” “accompanied around 6 millions jobs” and “16 million employments.” Spelling errors, including “agricuturel” and “Munufacturing,” also reduce accuracy. Use the sector names directly and choose standard employment collocations, such as “the agriculture sector employed” or “the number of jobs in healthcare rose.” Greater precision in describing changes would help the vocabulary sound more natural and controlled.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including a contrast clause beginning “whereas” and a sentence linking the manufacturing peak to its 2020 figure. Most meanings remain clear, but some grammatical errors recur. Examples include the missing article in “have shown downward trend,” the agreement and tense problem in “Retail and Healthcare sectors employments were shown rising trend,” and the awkward construction “reaching to its peak.” Plural forms are also inconsistent in “15 millions jobs” and “6 millions jobs”; with a number, use “million” without an -s. Review articles, subject–verb agreement, tense consistency and sentence patterns for describing figures. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control.

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