Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph provides the information about range of jobs in manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare of the US economy from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, retail and healthare had seen a growth while agriculture saw a downward trend.Manufacturing saw a little rise but at the end it was also drop significantly.
Earlier in 1960 healthcare was producing around 2.5 millions after which it increased to 5 millions in 1960.Then was a growth of 10% between 1980 to 2020 and ended at almost 16 millions.if we look at retail that was giving about 6 millions jobs in 1960 after that it moved upward and ended at providing near 16 millions jobs.
Manufacturing held 15 millions jobs in 1960 after which it increased 10%.Then it was going downward and closed at near 14 milllions jobs.In the last, agriculture was at 6 millions in 1960 then there was a drop of almost 4% and it was continued.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify the broad contrast between rising employment in retail and healthcare and falling employment in agriculture, and you also note manufacturing’s rise followed by decline. However, several details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare rose from about 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980, not from 2.5 million to 5 million “in 1960”; its increase from 1980 to 2020 is not 10%. The agriculture account is incomplete: it fell from 6 million to 3 million by 1980, stayed level in 2000, then declined to 2 million. Your overview also says manufacturing dropped “significantly,” without clearly summarising its peak in 1980. Select the key turning points and report them accurately to make the summary more complete and clear.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information, and phrases such as “Overall” and “if we look at retail” signal transitions. However, the progression within the detail paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. For example, “Then was a growth of 10% between 1980 to 2020” does not clearly identify the series or the comparison, while the agriculture paragraph ends without explaining its final value. Some linking phrases, including “In the last,” feel mechanical, and the sector-by-sector organisation could be made more consistent. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the declining or fluctuating sectors together, with clear time references, would improve cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “growth,” “downward trend,” “increased,” and “ended,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. The range is nevertheless limited, and several choices are imprecise or unnatural for a graph summary. “Healthcare was producing” jobs and “retail was giving” jobs are awkward collocations; “employment in healthcare” and “retail employed” would be more suitable. “A little rise” and “drop significantly” are vague, while “growth of 10%” incorrectly presents a change in jobs as a percentage. There are also spelling errors, such as “healthare” and “milllions.” Use precise trend verbs and distinguish clearly between a number of jobs and a percentage change.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with time clauses, as in “Manufacturing held 15 millions jobs in 1960 after which it increased 10%.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the timeline or meaning hard to interpret. In “it increased to 5 millions in 1960,” the year does not match the sequence being described; “after which” also needs clearer sentence structure and punctuation. Other issues include missing articles or prepositions, as in “increased 10%,” and inconsistent sentence boundaries, such as the full stop before “if we look at retail.” Plural forms are also problematic in “millions jobs.” Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build clear sentences around each year and value.
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