Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The bar chat illustrates key information about number of occupation in four kindes of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020 .

Overall, it can be seen that manfacturing has dominace the sectors of jobs but not to the end retail and agriculture and healthcare was compititves and they conqruid the markets but on other side agriculture didint have a many population in the jobs market .

According to what is shown , manufacturing have begin with 15 million jobs in 1960 and had peaked in 1980 to 20 million jobs ,but doesnt remain stable and have decrease in next years to under than 15 milion in 2020 , futheromre retail and healthcare they grow significantly in 1960 retail with over than 5 million and the other under than but the have a equal numbers in 2020 over than 15 million .

Moreover , agriculture didint have many popluation , its start into 5 million and have fall to 3 million approximactly in 1980 and they keep losing numbers fluctuated to reach more less in 2020 .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing rises to a peak and then declines, while retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing’s 15 million jobs in 1960 and 20 million in 1980. However, some comparisons are unclear or inaccurate. Retail and healthcare are both about 16 million in 2020, but the response does not clearly state that they tie for the highest level. Agriculture is described as starting at 5 million, whereas the chart shows about 6 million; its later decline to around 2 million is also not clearly reported. The overview’s claim that manufacturing dominated “but not to the end” needs a more precise account of how the rankings change. Select and compare the key figures more explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the trends. This gives the reader a basic route through the information, and connectors such as “Overall,” “According to what is shown,” and “Moreover” signal stages in the report. However, progression within sentences is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the overview, where several sector comparisons are compressed into one sentence. The phrase “but on other side” does not clearly connect the contrast, and “furthermore” introduces trends without a clear comparison. Grouping the manufacturing decline separately from the growth of retail and healthcare, then describing agriculture, would make the organisation more purposeful. Use linking expressions to show specific relationships rather than as general transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of task-related vocabulary, including “peaked,” “stable,” “significantly,” “fluctuated,” and “markets.” These choices show an effort to describe change rather than simply list figures. However, inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the meaning hard to interpret: “bar chat,” “kindes,” “manfacturing,” “have dominace,” and “conqruid the markets” are examples. Some expressions are also unsuitable for describing employment data, such as “population in the jobs market”; “number of jobs” or “employment” would be clearer. Build a reliable set of trend phrases and check spelling and collocation carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you express the comparisons already attempted.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including clauses joined with “but” and “and,” and the main trends can generally be understood. However, some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction reduce clarity. For example, “manufacturing have begin” needs a correctly formed past-tense verb, while “retail and healthcare they grow” has an unnecessary repeated subject and an unclear tense. The long sentence beginning “furthermore retail and healthcare” joins several ideas without clear punctuation, making the comparison difficult to follow. Practise writing shorter, controlled sentences first, then combine them with accurate clauses. Check that each sentence has a clear subject and verb, and use past-tense forms consistently when reporting the historical data.

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