Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the employment in the sectors manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in United States from the year 1960 to 2020. The number of jobs are shown in millions.

Overall, jobs in healthcare shown the biggest rise and both manufacturing and agriculture fell about the same amount.

The healthcare sector employed the lowest amount of individuals in the year 1960 which was a lot less than 5 millions. However, from there the employment in this sector increased gradully to just above 15 millions in 2020. Simillar trend can be seen in case of retailing sector which rose from just above 5 millions in 1960 to the same amount as healthcare in 2020.

On the other hand, jobs in manufacturing in US peaked at 20 millions in 1980 before declining steadily afterwards and sitting under 15 millions in 2020. Interestingly, jobs in agriculture haven't shown any rise at all falling from just above 5 millions in 1960 to about half of that in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall pattern: healthcare rises markedly, while manufacturing and agriculture decline over the period. The report also selects useful comparisons, including manufacturing’s peak in 1980 and retail and healthcare reaching similar levels by 2020. Most figures and trends match the chart. However, the overview is incomplete and slightly misleading: manufacturing falls by about 7 million jobs, whereas agriculture falls by about 4 million, so they do not decline by “about the same amount.” The overview also omits retail’s sustained growth and the fact that healthcare and retail are joint leaders in 2020. Adding these key comparisons and making the overview more precise would strengthen coverage and development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the rising and falling sectors. This makes the main trends easy to follow, and transitions such as “However” and “On the other hand” help signal contrasts. The grouping of healthcare with retail, followed by manufacturing and agriculture, is also logical. Some progression is less effective because the overview says manufacturing and agriculture fell by similar amounts, a comparison that the details do not support. In addition, “from there” is a vague reference to the starting point. Use more precise links and references, and ensure the overview accurately previews the comparisons developed in the body.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant task vocabulary, including “peaked,” “declining steadily,” and “increased,” and the reader can understand the trends being described. However, the range and control are uneven, with several noticeable spelling and word-choice problems: “gradully” and “Simillar” are misspelled, while “the lowest amount of individuals” is an awkward way to describe employment. “Haven't shown any rise at all falling” is also an imprecise and unnatural expression. Aim for accurate collocations and concise trend language, such as “the fewest jobs,” “rose gradually,” and “fell continuously.” Proofreading spelling and choosing more natural phrases would make the report clearer and more appropriate in style.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the contrast introduced by “However” and the clause “before declining steadily afterwards.” Most sentences communicate the intended trends, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “The number of jobs are shown” has subject–verb disagreement, and “jobs in healthcare shown the biggest rise” is missing the auxiliary verb “showed.” The phrase “in United States” also needs an article, and “5 millions” should use the plural form “million” after a number. These errors rarely prevent understanding, but checking agreement, articles, and number expressions would improve accuracy while preserving your sentence variety.

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