Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph reveals the economy of US in comparison of jobs in terms of four sectors,manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare over 60 years from 1960 to 2020,unit expressed in millions.

Overall, Healthcare and retail sector experienced an upward trend whereas manufacturing and agriculture faced downward trend. Agriculture had the modest decreased over the years.

As the graph shows, the number of individual involved in healthcare increased considerably throughout the period,beginning with only 2 millions in 1960 ,followed by 5million by the year 1980 ,rising substantially to 16 million.Meanwhile,people involve in retail was about 6 million which rosed to 15 million in 2000 and then increased slightly to 16 million in 2020. The number of jobs involved in these sectors converge at 16 million on the year 2020.

By contrast, Manufacturing and Agriculture experienced a downward trend,number of employment declining thoughout the period.Regarding Manufacturing, it had the highest involvement in these sector in 1960, followed by considerable increase of 20 million in 1980 ,then followed by sudden decreased and fell over only 12 million by 2020.Whereas, the number of people involved in these sector is less than other sector.It had minority of individual involved around 6 Million.Then gradually fell over the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad contrast between the rising healthcare and retail figures and the decline in agriculture, and you include several relevant values, such as healthcare rising from 2 to 16 million and retail reaching 16 million in 2020. However, the overview is incomplete and partly inaccurate: manufacturing did not decline throughout, since it rose from 15 million in 1960 to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before falling. The claim that agriculture had a “modest decreased” is also unclear, and its figures are not reported beyond the starting point. The final comparison that retail and healthcare converge at 16 million is useful. To strengthen the response, give a more accurate overview and report the main turning points for all four sectors, including manufacturing’s peak and agriculture’s gradual fall.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping the rising sectors and the declining ones. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information. Linking expressions such as “Overall,” “Meanwhile,” and “By contrast” help signal relationships. However, progression is weakened by unclear references, including “these sectors” and “it” in the final paragraph, where the reader must infer whether you mean manufacturing or agriculture. Some transitions are also awkwardly attached to long sentences, and the final paragraph ends without a clear comparison or summary of agriculture’s figures. Use shorter, more clearly organised sentences and name each sector when changing focus; this would make the cohesion less mechanical and the comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “declining,” “increased considerably,” and “converge,” so the main trends are usually understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “the economy of US in comparison of jobs,” “individual involved,” “had the modest decreased,” and “highest involvement.” These expressions sometimes make the intended meaning less precise. Repetition of “number of” and “involved” also limits flexibility. Prefer standard chart language such as “the number of jobs,” “employment in the sector,” “rose to,” and “fell to.” Check spelling and word forms, including “rose” rather than “rosed,” to make your vocabulary more accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “whereas” and “followed by,” and the overall meaning can generally be understood. However, errors in sentence construction and grammatical control occur across the response. For example, “Healthcare and retail sector experienced” needs plural agreement, while “which rosed to 15 million” has an incorrect verb form. The sentence beginning “By contrast, Manufacturing and Agriculture experienced a downward trend, number of employment declining” joins ideas without a clear grammatical connection. There are also inconsistent articles, plurals, and punctuation around clauses. Build comparisons with complete, controlled sentences—for example, “Manufacturing rose to 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million in 2020”—and check agreement and verb forms during revision.

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