Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in Manufacturing, Retail,Agriculture and Healthcare sector in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it can be clearly seen that manufacturing had the maximum number of jobs, while the healthcare sector had the lowest number of jobs.

In 1960,jobs in the manufacturing sector was 15 million and then the figure rose to 20 million in 1980.After that,it showed the gradual decrease and reached almost 13 million by 2020.Retail was the second most-common sector with the jobs almost 6 million in 1960 and then , it showed a dramatic increase and reached at the peak of almost 16 million by the end of the period.

In 1960, there were approximately 7 million jobs but the figure started to decline and reached almost 3 million in 1980 and then it remained constant by 2000.However, it reached at about 2 million in 2020. Healthcare had the least common jobs and it was about 2 million in 1960 and then it showed a gramatic increase and reached 15 million in 2000. Furthermore,it surpassed manufacturing and reached at 17 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You cover all four sectors and report several key movements, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million before declining and agriculture’s overall fall. However, the overview is inaccurate: manufacturing did not have the highest number throughout, and healthcare did not have the lowest throughout. Retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million in 2020, while healthcare rose from the lowest starting point to joint-highest. Some figures also need closer checking: agriculture was about 6 million in 1960, not 7, and healthcare was about 11 million in 2000, not 15. To strengthen the response, give a concise overview that captures the changing rankings and compare the two sectors that grew substantially.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the sectors. The sequence within the descriptions is generally chronological, and linking expressions such as “After that,” “However,” and “Furthermore” help show changes over time. This gives the reader a coherent account. Some connections are less clear because the agriculture paragraph begins “In 1960” without naming the sector, so the reference must be inferred from the previous paragraph. There is also some mechanical linking and punctuation spacing that interrupts the flow. For stronger progression, group related trends explicitly and use clear topic sentences to identify each sector.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of trend vocabulary, including “rose,” “gradual decrease,” “dramatic increase,” “decline,” and “surpassed.” These choices make the main movements understandable, and you attempt more descriptive language than simple repetition of “went up” or “went down.” However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “maximum number of jobs,” “second most-common sector,” and “reached at the peak.” “Gramatic” is also misspelled, and “least common jobs” does not clearly describe the number of jobs. Aim for precise terms such as “highest employment,” “second-largest sector,” and “reached a peak”; check spelling and use natural collocations consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses linked with “while,” “and then,” and “after that.” The timeline is usually expressed clearly, and the reader can follow the main comparisons. However, some grammatical errors remain, particularly subject–verb agreement and sentence construction: “jobs … was 15 million” should use “were,” and “it showed the gradual decrease” needs a more natural grammatical form. Several sentences also run together because punctuation is missing after dates or before linking words, as in “1960,jobs” and “1980.After that.” Review agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, then proofread spacing after commas and full stops. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.