Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The linear representation depict, the information about people prefer doing jobs in the ecnomy in the us, 1960 from to 2020.

In year 1960 to 2020 individuals prefer manufacturing start from 15 in year 1960 after that it surged increased in year 1980 after that it has certain declined in year 2020 by 15. Secoundly individuals prefer retail it rapidly incresed year by year.

Subsequently, in the agriculture field humans prefer in year 1960 by 5 percentum moreover it was surged declined by in year 2020. Furthermore in healthcare it has sharply increased individuals prefered healthcare more in year 2020 by above 15.

Overall, there are highest categerios in healthcare field after that, it has lowest value in agriculture, because it has less preference by people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and make a relevant attempt to describe their overall direction, including manufacturing’s rise and later decline and healthcare’s growth. However, the account is partial and several details are inaccurate or too vague: manufacturing is said to fall “by 15” in 2020, although it ends at about 13 million, and agriculture starts at about 6 million rather than 5. Retail’s steady rise and the key comparison that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020 are not clearly reported. The overview also incorrectly calls healthcare the highest category without noting that it is level with retail at the end. The response is 24 words below the required minimum, which limits the detail available. Add a clearer overview and accurate comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic structure: an opening, a sequence of sector descriptions, and a concluding overview. This gives the reader some sense of organisation, and words such as “Subsequently,” “Furthermore,” and “Overall” signal transitions. However, progression is not consistently clear because the sectors are discussed in short, loosely connected statements, and repeated sequencing phrases do not show meaningful comparisons. For example, “Secoundly” introduces retail, but the account does not connect its rise to healthcare’s similar growth. Some references are also unclear, as in “it has certain declined.” Group the trends more logically—for example, compare the rising sectors, then contrast them with manufacturing and agriculture—and use linking language to express those relationships.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “increased,” “declined,” “sharply,” and “lowest value,” so the reader can recognise the general trends being described. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a graph report. “Individuals prefer” and “people prefer doing jobs” suggest personal preference rather than the number of jobs, while “percentum” is not appropriate for values measured in millions. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “ecn omy” (written as “ecn omy” in the response), “Secoundly,” “incresed,” and “categerios.” Use precise terms such as “employment,” “job numbers,” and “stood at,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to describe change over time and use some longer sentence patterns, but the range is limited and errors recur in basic sentence construction. The opening, “The linear representation depict, the information,” has subject–verb disagreement and misplaced punctuation. Tense and sentence structure are also faulty in “manufacturing start from 15 … after that it surged increased,” while “it has certain declined” does not form a clear grammatical clause. Articles, prepositions, and phrasing are often missing or misused, making some relationships difficult to follow. Aim for controlled simple sentences first, such as “Manufacturing employment rose from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980, then fell to 13 million by 2020.” Check agreement, verb forms, and punctuation when editing.

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