Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph chart written about the number of jo bs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 to 2020. We see that in the graph in 1960 there are maximum peoples around 15 millions peoples had to job in a manufacturing. And more than 5 millions peoples jobs in a retail and agriculture. moreover some peoples works in a healthcare . The numbers of healthcare jobs peoples around 2 millions. In 1980 we observe that there are around 3 millons peoples worked in agriculturing .On top of that there are 20 millons peoples jobs manfacturing. What's more there are 5 millons peoples worked in a helthcaring and 10 millions poeoples worked in a retailing. In 2000 around 17 millions peoples worked in manufacturing and 15 millions worked in retailing. Morover around 11 millions peoples worked in a healthcaring . We see that graph there are no changes the number of agriculturing peoples . In the 2020 increasing the number of retailing and healthcaring working peoples and the dicreasing the number of agriculturing and manufacturing working peoples . We observe the graph chart, peoples day by day have to slowly move in retailing and healthcare works.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You report several relevant figures, including manufacturing at about 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and the 2000 figures for manufacturing, retail and healthcare. You also identify the broad 2020 rise in retail and healthcare and fall in manufacturing and agriculture. However, the response only partially summarises the graph: it has no clear overview of the main changes across the whole period, and some key comparisons are missing. For example, retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020, while agriculture declines overall from about 6 million to 2 million. The statement that agriculture showed “no changes” in 2000 is unclear and does not describe its full trend. Organise the main features into a concise overview and support it with accurate comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows the years in chronological order, which gives the reader a basic route through the data, and phrases such as “In 1980” and “In 2000” help signal time changes. However, there is no clear paragraph structure or overall progression from an overview to selected details. Many points are joined in a long sequence with repeated openings such as “We see” and “We observe,” so the account feels list-like. Some links are also unclear: “more than 5 millions peoples jobs in a retail and agriculture” does not clearly distinguish the two sectors, and “no changes” is not tied precisely to the relevant years. Group related trends—for example, rising sectors together—and use clearer comparisons and references to make the progression easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-relevant terms, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “healthcare,” “increasing” and “decreasing,” so the reader can identify the subject and broad trends. However, vocabulary is limited and repetitive, and several word choices or forms make the description difficult to read. Expressions such as “peoples worked in a healthcaring” and “agriculturing peoples” are not natural ways to describe employment; “jobs in healthcare” and “agricultural employment” would be clearer. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “millons,” “manfacturing” and “dicreasing.” Aim to use a small set of accurate chart-description phrases consistently, such as “the number of jobs,” “rose to,” and “fell to,” rather than repeating “peoples” and “worked.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to describe several time points and use some past-tense forms, such as “worked,” alongside present forms such as “we observe.” However, the response relies mainly on simple sentence patterns, and frequent errors in sentence construction, tense, agreement and articles sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “The graph chart written about” lacks a complete, correctly formed clause, while “there are maximum peoples around 15 millions peoples had to job” combines incompatible structures. “In the 2020 increasing the number” also lacks a clear subject and finite verb. Use complete sentences with a consistent past tense for the historical data, and practise patterns such as “The number of jobs in manufacturing stood at…” and “Retail employment rose from… to…”.

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