Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph below provides data about the number of jobs in four economical sector of the United States, including manufacuring, retail, agriculture and healthcare between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the number of employement in the retial and healthcare sectors indicate considerable climb. On the other hand, the manufacturing sector rose sharply for some time then declined and reached at lowest, however, the agriculture sector shows declined trend throught the time.

In 1960, the manufacturing sector commence with providing 15 million jobs and then sharply rose and reached 20 million in 1980 then declined to lowest and reached 13 million in 2020. However, the agriculture sector started at 6 million then declined sharply and rached around 2 million in 2020.

Secondly, the retail sector started at 6 million jobs and then increased and reached 15 million in 2000 and then raised one million jobs and reached 16 million in 2020. On the other hand, the healthcare sector started at 3 million jobs in 1960 then sharply rose and reached 16 million in 2020 at the same level as retail.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: retail and healthcare rise, manufacturing peaks before falling, and agriculture declines. The key figures for manufacturing and retail are mostly accurate, and you note that retail and healthcare finish at the same level. However, some details are incomplete or imprecise. Healthcare begins at 2 million, not 3 million, and manufacturing falls to 13 million in 2020 but this is not its lowest point across the whole graph: agriculture is lower. The overview’s claim that manufacturing “reached at lowest” is therefore unclear. Include the important intermediate figures, such as manufacturing’s 17 million in 2000 and agriculture’s stable level of about 3 million from 1980 to 2000, to make the comparisons more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs that group the sectors. This makes the information easy to follow in broad terms. However, some linking is mechanical or confusing. “Secondly” does not clearly signal the relationship between the retail and healthcare paragraph and the preceding one, while repeated “then” and “On the other hand” make the sequence feel formulaic. The overview also combines the manufacturing decline and agriculture trend in a sentence whose contrast is difficult to follow. Use more precise links to show comparison, and organise details by shared patterns—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—while ensuring each reference clearly identifies the sector.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “rose sharply,” “declined,” “increased,” and “reached,” so the main meaning is generally clear. There is also some attempt at variation, such as “considerable climb.” However, inaccurate word forms, spelling, and collocations reduce precision: “economical sector,” “employement,” “retial,” and “manufacuring” are examples, while “reached at lowest” is not a natural expression. “Commence with providing” is also unnecessarily awkward for describing a starting figure. Aim for accurate, conventional chart language and check spelling carefully; this will make your descriptions more fluent and precise without requiring more elaborate vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including contrast clauses such as “On the other hand” and sequences joined with “then.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “the number of employement … indicate” has a singular subject with a plural verb, and “the agriculture sector shows declined trend” lacks an article and uses an incorrect verb pattern. In “started at 3 million jobs in 1960 then sharply rose,” the sentence would be clearer with punctuation or a conjunction between the clauses. Practise subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete verb patterns, and vary sentence structures while keeping them controlled.

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