Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given graph chart illustrates the data for quantity of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between two years 1960 and 2020. There were mainly four economical sectors contributing numerous jobs in million dollars. Manufacturing factor demonstrates significantly higher range from year 1960 and declines in year 2000.Agriculture sector remained declined throughout the period.
It is clear that manufacturing sector remained higher than other sectors contributed 20 million jobs till year 2000, after 2000 it fell back to 14 million.However, Agriculture sector rised up 5 million in year 1960 and fell back to 4 million in rest of years.
Looking at other two sectors- Healthcare and Retail showed a similar range between years.Health care rose up in year 1960 and overtook to 6 million to 16 million from year 1960 to 2020. Turning to last sector, Retail significantly went above in the beginning and rose up 15 million in year 2000, however remained steady in year 2020.
The overall view shows that for whole the years manufacturing sector remained at the peak, however agriculture least preferable. Other remaining sectors rose up in the begining and remained constant or high.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify the four sectors and include some relevant comparisons, such as manufacturing being high and agriculture being the smallest overall. However, several key details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980, not “till year 2000,” and agriculture falls from about 6 million in 1960 to 2 million in 2020 rather than rising to 5 million. Healthcare rises from 2 to 16 million, while retail increases from 6 to 16 million; these trends are not reported precisely. The overview also incorrectly says manufacturing stayed at the peak throughout, although retail and healthcare reach the same level by 2020. Select the main turning points and compare the start and end values accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, descriptions of the sectors, and a concluding overview. This gives the reader a general route through the information, and transitions such as “However” and “Turning to” help signal changes in focus. However, progression is weakened by unclear references and some contradictory statements. For example, “remained higher than other sectors contributed 20 million jobs till year 2000” does not make the time sequence clear, and the final overview repeats claims that conflict with the body. Grouping the trends more systematically—for example, declining sectors together and rising sectors together—and using clearer links between comparisons would make the organisation more coherent.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some task-related vocabulary, including “declines,” “overtook,” “rose,” and “remained steady,” showing an attempt to describe trends rather than simply list figures. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow. “Economical sectors” and “manufacturing factor” are not suitable descriptions here, while “rose up” and “went above” do not express the intended trends precisely. “Million dollars” also confuses the unit: the graph reports jobs in millions. Spelling errors such as “begining” add to the impression of limited control. Use standard chart language consistently, such as “the number of jobs,” “increased,” “declined,” and “stood at.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including contrast clauses with “however” and “while.” Some sentence meanings remain understandable, but grammatical errors are frequent enough to affect clarity. Examples include “between two years 1960 and 2020,” “Agriculture sector remained declined,” and “Healthcare rose up in year 1960 and overtook to 6 million to 16 million.” These show problems with articles, verb forms, and sentence construction. Punctuation also needs attention: there are missing spaces after full stops, and commas are sometimes used where a sentence boundary is needed. Practise building accurate comparison sentences with clear subjects and verbs, such as “Healthcare employment rose from about 2 million to 16 million.”
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