Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The graph illustrates information regarding the amount of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Retail and healthcare sector are holding the most amount of jobs in US in 2020 where both had seen noticeable rise in terms of jobs in sixty years. In contrast, manufacturing and agriculture jobs declined steadily.

In 1960, manufacturing used to hold the most number jobs in the US with 15 million jobs which then jumped to 20 million after 20 years. A sharp decrement of jobs started after that and reached at roughly 13 million in 2020. Agriculture and retail was at the similar position in 1960 with six million . Retail sector had rose sharply until 2000 and continued a steady inclinement to reach at 16 million whereas agriculture jobs dropped to 3 million in 1980 and levelled off until 2000 then again went down to 2 million. However, healthcare sector had seen the most significant increament. From nearly two million jobs in 1960 to five million after two decades and eventually soared to 16 millions in the next four decades to have the similar amount of jobs as retail sector had.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response selects the main trends and supports them with relevant figures: manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before falling to about 13 million, while agriculture declines to 2 million by 2020. It also identifies the strong growth in retail and healthcare and their equal endpoint of 16 million. The overview gives a clear account of the broad contrast between rising and declining sectors. However, “declined steadily” is not fully accurate for manufacturing, which first rose, and healthcare’s rise to 16 million occurs over the full period rather than only “the next four decades” after 1980. More precise descriptions of these stages would make the reporting consistently accurate and better developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged in a clear sequence: an introduction, an overview, and a detailed paragraph comparing the four sectors. This makes the main message easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “In contrast,” “whereas,” and “However” help signal comparisons. Some cohesion is less controlled within the long final paragraph, where several trends are packed into one sentence and the shift from retail to agriculture to healthcare feels abrupt. References such as “after that” and “the next four decades” also require the reader to work out the exact time period. Separate the sector comparisons into more balanced sentences and use explicit dates to make progression and connections clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

There is an adequate range for describing trends, including “jumped,” “levelled off,” “soared,” and “declined,” and the meaning is generally clear. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “amount of jobs,” “sharp decrement,” “steady inclinement,” and “most significant increament.” These attempts at less common vocabulary show ambition, but they reduce precision and naturalness. Spelling errors in “increament” and “inclinement” also affect control. Prefer standard chart language and collocations, such as “number of jobs,” “a sharp decline,” “continued to rise gradually,” and “the most significant increase.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses linked with “which,” “whereas,” and “to reach,” and the overall meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with articles, agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction. For example, “Retail and healthcare sector are” needs plural agreement and articles, while “Agriculture and retail was” has a subject–verb agreement error. “Retail sector had rose” uses an incorrect verb form, and “reached at roughly 13 million” has an unnecessary preposition. The long final sentence also makes grammatical control harder to maintain. Check agreement and verb forms, and divide complex comparisons into shorter, well-formed sentences.

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