Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The number of jobs in the different sectors in the us has been changing across the years. in early 1900s the number of jobs at the manufacturing sector was the biggest compared to all other sectors such as retail, agriculture and healthcare. And the reason for this could possibly be because of the working at factory and the industrial evolution. Also we can see that the manufacturing, retail and heatlhcare sectors increased while the agriculture started to decrease tuntill present, and this is propobably du to the most people being focusing on manufacturing more than agriculture. At 1980 the manufacturing sector sudanlly started to deacrese. The automated and smart machines at factories were implemented which replaced the need of the manlabor. This digram can gives us a clear insight on how people needs and how tecknology affect the number of jobs in each sector and how most manpowered jobs can be replaced by machines. It alaso shows that as the world go forward and advanced, the health sector still increase it its demand for worker, it needs more people for the research. In case of the reail jobs, afte the year 2000 it started haveing a less demand in the number of jobs, after the internet and the online shopping intoduced. I belive that all jobs are importants.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several relevant broad trends: manufacturing is initially the largest sector, agriculture declines, and healthcare grows. However, the account only partially reports the graph and includes inaccurate or unsupported claims. The period begins in 1960, not the “early 1900s,” and manufacturing does not start to decline in 1980; it peaks at about 20 million then falls. Retail does not decline after 2000: it rises slightly, from around 15 to 16 million. Explanations about automation, online shopping and research are not shown by the graph and take space away from reporting comparisons. Give a concise overview, then accurately compare the four series at key dates, including that retail and healthcare reach similar levels by 2020.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is some progression from an opening statement to comments on individual sectors, and phrases such as “Also” and “In case of” attempt to connect ideas. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, so the overview and supporting details are not clearly separated. The sequence also jumps between trends and speculative explanations, making the account difficult to follow. Some links are unclear, as in “the manufacturing, retail and heatlhcare sectors increased while the agriculture started to decrease tuntill present,” which compresses several different patterns into one statement. Organise the response into an introduction, a brief overview, and a paragraph comparing the main changes, using clear time references and avoiding unnecessary transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “sectors,” “demand,” “automated,” and “replaced,” but control is limited by frequent spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural phrasing. Examples include “heatlhcare,” “propobably,” “manpowered,” and “intoduced”; these make the report less polished and can slow the reader. Phrases such as “the number of jobs at the manufacturing sector” and “started haveing a less demand” are also awkward collocations. Use precise, neutral language for describing data rather than explanations about causes. For example, describe a sector as “rose,” “fell,” or “remained stable,” and refer to “employment” or “the number of jobs” consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response includes attempts at longer sentences and subordinate clauses, for example, “as the world go forward and advanced,” but these structures are often faulty. Errors in verb forms and agreement occur in “the world go,” “the health sector still increase,” and “it needs more people.” There are also problems with articles and sentence construction, such as “At 1980” and “This digram can gives us.” Several sentences run together or use punctuation inconsistently, which makes relationships between ideas harder to understand. Build accuracy with clear simple comparisons first, then add controlled complex sentences. Check subject–verb agreement, use past tense for the historical data, and punctuate each complete sentence clearly.

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