Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

THE DATA GIVES INFORMATION ABOUT THE NUMBER OF JOBS IN AMERICA IN FOUR DIFFERENT SECTORS BETWEEN YEARS [redacted phone].

OVERALL THE TREND SHOWS THE INCREASE IN HEALTHCARE AND RETAIL SECTOR WHILE AGRICULTURE DEPARTMENT EXPERIENCED DECLINE OVER THE TIME. MANUFACTURING AREA SHOWS FLUCTUATION. AT FIRST THERE IS A RISE IN NUMBER OF JOBS AND THEN SHARP DECLINE.

IN 1960 THERE WERE ABOUT 15 MILLIONS SEATS IN MANUFACTURING SECTOR. ONE OF THE HIGHEST EMPLOYMENT RATE AS COMPAIRED TO THE RETAIL WITH ABOUT 6 MILLINS INDIVIDUALS SAME AS THAT OF AGRICULTURE. HEALTH CARE SECTOR HAD LOWEST NUMBER OF JOBS ONLY ABOUT 1 MILLION.

BUT AFTER 1980 MANUFACTURING AREA EXPERIENCED DOWNFALL WITH ALMOST 12 MILLIONS INDIVIDUALS. THERE WAS A INCREASE IN RETAIL BRANCH WITH 10 MILLON INDIVIDUAL IN 1980 AND 15 MILLIONS IN 2000. AFTER THAT THE JOB RTE REMAINED THE SAME. HEALTHCRE SECTOR SHOWED REMARKABLE INCREASE TO ALMOST 16 MILLIONS IN 2020. AGRICULTURE SECTOR HAD DOWNFALL TO ALMOST 1 MILLION EMPLOYEES IN 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall patterns: healthcare and retail rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing rises before falling. You also compare the sectors at the start and describe several later figures, so the key features are relevant and the task is addressed. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing falls from 20 million in 1980 to 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020, not to “almost 12 millions” after 1980; retail reaches about 16 million in 2020 rather than remaining unchanged after 2000; and agriculture ends at about 2 million, not 1 million. The overview is useful, but more precise reporting and clearer coverage of the later comparisons would strengthen it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable progression: an introduction, an overview, and then details moving from 1960 to later years. This makes the main message accessible, and transitions such as “But after 1980” and “After that” help signal sequence. However, the final paragraph combines several sectors and time points in a way that is sometimes difficult to follow, while “After that the job rate remained the same” is unclear about which sector and period it refers to. Some linking is mechanical, and the all-capital presentation also makes the text less easy to read. Grouping the rising sectors together and then contrasting them with manufacturing and agriculture would create a clearer progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “number of jobs,” “sector,” “increase,” “decline,” and “employment rate,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you intend to describe. There is also some attempt at varied wording, such as “remarkable increase” and “experienced downfall.” However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph: “15 millions seats,” “agriculture department,” and “job rte” do not express the data clearly, while “downfall” is less suitable than a neutral term such as “fell.” Spelling errors such as “compaired,” “millons,” and “healthcre” are noticeable. More precise, consistently appropriate trend vocabulary would improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You communicate the broad trends using both simple statements and some longer structures, including “while agriculture department experienced decline” and “At first there is a rise … and then sharp decline.” However, control is uneven, and errors in articles, plurals, and sentence construction recur. For example, “15 millions” should be “15 million,” “There was a increase” needs “an increase,” and “the retail with about 6 millions individuals same as that of agriculture” is not a complete, well-formed comparison. Tense use also shifts between past and present when describing the historical data. Aim for accurate, complete sentences and check articles, singular “million,” and consistent past-tense reporting.

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