Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This graph shows the number of jobs across four sectors of the U.S. economy. These jobs range from manufacturing goods to providing healthcare services. The time spans from 1960 to 2020. if i talk about the most popular job during those years, it is manufacturing, but it sees a rise initially and then faces a decline in 2020. fifteen millions of people were in manufacturing sector in 1960 that rose to 20 millions in initial 20 years. After that a decline in people interest in the said sector was noted. here it is worthmentioning that health care is found to be most popuplar profession people adopted over the years. this is quite obvious in this graph that healthcare sector was least popular in 1960 and the most popular in 2020 matching in popularity with the ratail business. it is probably because healthcare industry is generating highest revenue nowadays. the agriculture which can be called as backbone for a country to be self sufficient in food provision found to be least popular with over five millions were in agriculture job in 1960 and it declined over time and falls below three millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad pattern that manufacturing rises before declining, and you note that healthcare grows while agriculture falls. However, the account is only partly complete: retail is mentioned as matching healthcare in 2020, but its steady rise from 6 million to 16 million is not described. Some figures are inaccurate: agriculture starts at about 6 million, not “over five millions” as a precise comparison, and ends at about 2 million rather than below 3 million. The claim that manufacturing was the most popular throughout is also misleading, since retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020, above manufacturing at 13 million. Avoid unsupported explanations about revenue and focus on accurately summarising the main trends and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a broadly understandable order, moving from manufacturing to healthcare and then agriculture, and phrases such as “After that” help signal a change over time. However, the ideas are presented as one continuous paragraph, with no clear overview separated from supporting details. The opening also spends space describing what the sectors do rather than establishing the graph’s main comparisons. Some links are awkward or unclear, such as “here it is worthmentioning” and “it is probably because,” which introduces an unsupported explanation rather than advancing the summary. Organise the response into a brief introduction, an overview of the key trends, and detail paragraphs comparing the sectors; use linking expressions selectively and make each reference clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “decline,” “sector,” “healthcare,” and “agriculture,” and attempt more descriptive phrases such as “backbone” and “self sufficient.” However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural for a data summary: “most popular job” suggests preference rather than employment numbers, while “people interest” and “profession people adopted” do not clearly describe the figures. There are also noticeable spelling and form errors, including “popuplar,” “ratail,” and “worthmentioning.” Prefer neutral terms for reporting data and check spelling carefully. A more precise range of verbs and nouns for increases, decreases, and employment would make the account clearer and more appropriately academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, for example, “it sees a rise initially and then faces a decline,” and the meaning is generally recoverable. However, errors in sentence boundaries, tense, agreement, and number occur often enough to make parts of the response awkward. The opening “if i talk” begins with an uncapitalised conditional fragment, and “fifteen millions of people … that rose” has an incorrect plural form and an unclear clause connection. “The agriculture … found to be least popular” is missing a suitable verb construction, while “over five millions were” also has faulty number and agreement. Use complete sentences, maintain consistent past-tense reporting, and check articles and singular/plural forms.

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