Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The economy of Us is not stronge in 1960 in 1960 tere manufacturing is good and there health risk in Us are also well as compare to pakistan and many other countries in 1960 they rise there manufacturing and they provide millions of jobs of its city and they better there economy by its manufacturing agriculture and in US there are many health problems in 1960 they better there health problem in 1980 and upgrade hus country and economy as well
Us is better for jobs health and its agriculture is not good as compare to pakistan pakistan agriculture is good and they export wheat and goods in US in 2020 Us get more storge in manufacturing and there retails and haealth also there are many jobs in US and they provide manh other factlties for forigen people
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 3.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response makes only a minimal attempt to summarise the graph and does not clearly report its main features. It mentions manufacturing, agriculture, retail and healthcare, but gives no accurate figures or clear account of how the four sectors changed between 1960 and 2020. The claim that manufacturing increased in 2020 is misleading: it peaked in 1980 and then declined, while retail and healthcare rose substantially. Much of the response instead discusses Pakistan, exports, health problems and facilities for foreign people, none of which is shown in the graph. The response is also 12 words below the required minimum. To improve, focus on the chart, give a clear overview of the main trends, and support it with selected comparisons and figures.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5
There is a little organisation around time periods, with references to 1960, 1980 and 2020, but the ideas do not form a clear progression through the graph. The response moves abruptly from US manufacturing to health problems, then to Pakistan’s agriculture and exports, and finally to facilities for foreign people. These points are not connected to the task, so the reader cannot follow a consistent summary. Repeated use of “and” also joins many separate ideas into long, difficult-to-follow sentences. Use separate paragraphs for an overview and key details, and organise the details by sector or by period. Clear links such as “By contrast” and “Meanwhile” can help show comparisons between trends.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” “retails” and “jobs,” so the subject is occasionally identifiable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make the intended meaning unclear, such as “health risk,” “get more storge” and “factlties.” Some expressions, including “manufacturing is good” and “agriculture is not good,” are too vague to describe numerical trends. Aim for precise terms that report movement and comparison, such as “rose,” “declined,” “peaked” and “remained stable.” Check spelling and use sector names accurately; for example, “retail” is the appropriate label rather than “retails.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts to combine ideas in extended sentences, but sentence boundaries and grammatical relationships are often unclear. For example, “in 1960 tere manufacturing is good and there health risk in Us are also well as compare to pakistan” contains several clauses without clear structure, and the repeated “and” makes it difficult to see how the ideas relate. Tense and agreement are also inconsistent, as in “they rise there manufacturing” and “they better there health problem.” Capitalisation and punctuation are not controlled consistently, particularly in the opening sentence. Practise writing short, complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then add accurate past-tense forms to describe the historical data.
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