Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different fields of the economy, which include manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare in the US in the year 1960,1980,2000 and 2020. Unit of jobs is millions.

In the year 1960, there were maximum jobs for manufacturing that increased to 20 million jobs in 1980. After that, there was a decline in this sector to 13 million jobs in the year 2020. Agriculture sector held 6.5 million jobs in the year 1960. After that, there was a decline in its graph which continued till 2020. Retail sector had 6.5 million jobs in 1960 which was at same point as agriculture. However, it made a great progress in the following years and secured 16 millions jobs in 2020. The highest number of jobs is shared by healthcare as well which has a relatively steeper graph overall. This sector made a significant progress starting from 2 million jobs in 1960. Manufacturing and agriculture showed a decline while retail and healthcare illustrated a increasing trend.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the four sectors and report several important patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak in 1980 before falling, while retail and healthcare increase and agriculture declines. You also note that healthcare begins at 2 million and that retail and agriculture start at similar levels. However, some key comparisons are underdeveloped: the overview does not clearly state that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, jointly the highest figures, or that healthcare overtakes manufacturing by 2000. The claim that manufacturing had the maximum number of jobs in 1960 is accurate, but the agriculture figures are slightly high, and its later values are not specified. Include the main turning points and endpoint comparisons more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a generally understandable sequence, moving from the opening description to sector-by-sector details and then a summary of broad trends. Linking expressions such as “After that” and “However” help show changes over time. However, the organisation is somewhat mechanical, with “After that” repeated, and the final sentence repeats information already given rather than providing a distinct, well-developed overview. The healthcare discussion is also less clearly connected to the comparison with the other sectors: “The highest number of jobs is shared by healthcare as well” does not make clear when this occurs or that retail shares the endpoint. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the two declining sectors together would make the progression and comparisons clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “decline,” “progress,” “sector,” and “trend,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more descriptive phrasing, such as “a relatively steeper graph.” However, some choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing data: “secured 16 millions jobs” and “made a great progress” do not collocate naturally, while “steeper graph overall” is vague and does not accurately describe the healthcare trend across the whole period. “Maximum jobs” would be more naturally expressed as “the highest number of jobs.” Aim for precise verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” “peaked,” and “overtook,” and use “million” without a plural ending after a number.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “which” and “while,” and most of the message remains easy to understand. Some grammatical errors persist, however. The opening list needs clearer punctuation and spacing in “1960,1980,2000 and 2020,” and “Unit of jobs is millions” is not a well-formed sentence. There are also agreement and article issues in “a increasing trend” and “the same point,” as well as a tense inconsistency in “The highest number of jobs is shared … which has” when describing historical data. The sentence beginning “This sector made a significant progress starting from…” is awkwardly constructed. More consistent past-tense reporting and careful checking of articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries would improve accuracy.

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