Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The illustrated line graph represents the information of jobs in four departments of the economy in United States during 1960 to 2020.

Firstly, In 1960 the manufacturing had around 15 millions of jobs which later touched to 20 million in 1980 and after this it started declining and reached around 16 million and keep reducing the jobs to around 13 million in 2020 respectively, while the Retail sector started its journey at just above 5 million jobs which significantly increased to 15 million in 2000 and got a sharp increment further in the upcoming year, While the agriculture and healthcare showed different behaviour and agriculture had around 6 million jobs while the healthcare was around 3 million but in very short time the health care got tremendous numbers of jobs in economy raising itself to 5 million in 1980 and more than 150 million in 2020, but in the same time the agriculture sector faced declining and iliminating the number of jobs which resulted to reach below 5 million. Overall the the graph changed its pattern with respect to time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several relevant trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and then declining, retail rising, and agriculture falling. However, the overview is too vague: “the graph changed its pattern with respect to time” does not summarise the main picture. The key comparison is that healthcare and retail both rose substantially, with both reaching about 16 million jobs by 2020, while agriculture remained the smallest sector and manufacturing fell from its peak. There are also important inaccuracies: healthcare is reported as “more than 150 million” in 2020, rather than about 16 million, and its 1960 figure is about 2 million, not 3 million. Give a clear overview and report the main figures accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a broadly chronological order and uses some linking expressions, such as “while” and “Overall,” so the reader can identify the sectors being discussed. However, most of the information is packed into one long paragraph, with several trends joined by repeated “and” or “while.” This makes the progression difficult to follow, particularly in the sentence beginning “Firstly” and continuing through all four sectors. The final overview is also too general to bring the comparisons together. Organise the report into a short introduction, a distinct overview, and one or two paragraphs grouping related trends. Use linking words to show clear comparisons rather than joining many clauses into a single sentence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing change, including “declining,” “increased,” and “reached,” and the sector names make the subject clear. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a graph report. “Touched to 20 million” and “started its journey” are not suitable collocations, while “tremendous numbers of jobs” is imprecise. “More than 150 million” also gives a seriously misleading figure, and “iliminating” is misspelled. Aim for precise, neutral reporting language and use verbs such as “rose,” “peaked,” “fell,” and “stood at.” Check spelling and avoid conversational or figurative expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to combine ideas using subordinate clauses and contrast, but the response relies heavily on long sentences that are often difficult to control. For example, the sentence beginning “Firstly” contains several clauses joined without clear sentence boundaries, and “the manufacturing had” and “the agriculture sector faced declining” show problems with articles and grammatical patterns. There are also errors in number and agreement, as in “15 millions,” and inconsistent tense forms such as “keep reducing.” These errors sometimes make relationships between events unclear. Use shorter sentences with one main comparison each, check singular and plural forms, and keep past-tense verbs consistent when describing the historical data.

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