Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph shows the number of people employed in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing employed dominated intially, but subsequentaly decline. however, retail and healthcare experienced upward trend, but agricutural have the fewer number of jobs as compare to other agriculture shows the downward trend.

In 1960, manufacturing department have highest numbers of jobs aproximately 15 million. this figure increased to a 20 million reached at peak in 1980 before decling in 2000 and 2020 below at 15 million. in contrast retail employed round about 7 million and grew steadily. in 1980 figures reached 10 million. figures reached at 15 million and 16 million in 2000 and 2020.

In 1960, healthcare starting at 0.5 million and experienced the substantial growth all over the period figures reached at 5 million in 1980. in 2000 and 2020 figures climbed up 10 to 15 million round about. meanwhile, agriculture experienced downward trend atarting at round about 5 million after slight decline 0.5 million in 1980 than shows continuous decline in 2000 and 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing starts as the largest sector and then declines, while retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. You also include several useful comparisons across the years. However, some figures are inaccurate: healthcare begins at about 2 million, not 0.5 million, and ends at about 16 million rather than 15 million. Agriculture starts at about 6 million and falls to 2 million; the stated 5 million start and 0.5-million decline in 1980 do not match the graph. The overview also repeats the agriculture trend unclearly. More accurate figures and a concise overview of the key changes would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two paragraphs describing the sectors. Grouping manufacturing and retail together, then healthcare and agriculture, gives the reader a basic route through the data. However, progression within sentences is sometimes difficult to follow, and linking is often mechanical or unclear. For example, “however” begins a sentence after a full stop but is not capitalised, while “meanwhile” introduces the agriculture detail without clearly connecting it to the preceding healthcare figures. The overview also combines several ideas in a confusing sentence. Use clearer topic sentences and organise each paragraph around a consistent comparison or trend; check that each connector expresses the relationship you intend.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “employed,” “peak,” “increased,” “decline” and “upward trend,” so the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “manufacturing employed dominated,” “figures reached at,” and “agriculture shows the downward trend.” Spelling errors—including “intially,” “subsequentaly,” “agricutural” and “decling”—also make the writing less clear and controlled. Aim for precise, natural phrases such as “the number of jobs rose to” and “agriculture had the fewest jobs.” Proofreading spelling and avoiding repeated use of “figures” would improve accuracy and variety.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, grammatical errors are frequent, and attempts to combine clauses are often faulty. Examples include “manufacturing employed dominated,” “retail employed round about 7 million,” and “agriculture experienced downward trend,” where the sentence structure or required articles are missing or incorrect. Verb forms and agreement are also inconsistent: “manufacturing department have” and “agricultural have.” Punctuation and capitalisation need attention, as in “however” after a full stop and the run-on construction “figures reached at 15 million and 16 million.” Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build shorter, complete sentences before adding complex clauses.

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