Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the quantity of work opportunity in four different fields of the economy in the united states from 1960 to 2020

Overall, jobs in manufacturing sector start with a significant number in 1960 but it decreased lately, agriculture sector had the lowest figure in last 40 year, coversly for the propostion of jobs in retail and healthcare it increased throughout the period

First and foremost, jobs number in manufacturing sector reached 20 million in 1980 since it fall gradually to 17 million 2000 and 13 million in 2020 same situation for the agriculture sector startin with 7 million jobs in 1960 untill it fell slightly in 1980 with 4 million jobs and 2 million in 2020

the other two areas experienced a substantial growth . Firstly the retail sector rose gradually from 10 million jobs in 1980 to have the highest figure in 2020 accouting by 16 million jobs likewise healthcare field accounted a rapid surge from 5 million jobs in 1980 passed by 12 million in 2000 to achieve the highest proportion with jobs number in Retail accounting by 16 million in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing declines after peaking, agriculture is the smallest sector, and retail and healthcare grow. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and falling to 13 million by 2020. However, some comparisons are unclear or inaccurate. Agriculture begins at about 6 million, not 7 million, and falls to about 3 million in 1980, not 4 million. The overview also says retail and healthcare increased “throughout,” although healthcare rises steadily while retail’s early value is omitted. Your final comparison confuses which sector reaches 16 million. More precise reporting of starting values and the sectors’ relative positions would make the key features clearer and more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for manufacturing/agriculture and retail/healthcare. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the final sentence, where the healthcare figures and the claim about retail reaching 16 million run together. Linking phrases such as “First and foremost,” “Firstly,” and “likewise” are used, but they do not always clarify the relationship between the data. Some sentences also contain several points without clear punctuation. Use shorter, clearly separated comparisons and connect each figure explicitly to its sector and year.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of task-related vocabulary, including “gradually,” “substantial growth,” “rapid surge,” and “figure,” and the reader can generally identify the sectors being discussed. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “quantity of work opportunity,” “proportion of jobs,” and “accounted a rapid surge.” Spelling errors—including “coversly,” “propostion,” “startin,” and “accouting”—also make the writing less fluent and occasionally obscure meaning. Prefer precise chart language such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” “rose to,” and “stood at.” Check spelling carefully and avoid using varied expressions when a simpler, accurate phrase would communicate the data more clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer, connected sentences, for example when describing manufacturing’s peak and subsequent decline. However, control of sentence structure and verb forms is inconsistent. In “jobs in manufacturing sector start … but it decreased,” the article is missing and the tense shifts; “since it fall gradually” also has an incorrect verb form. Several clauses are joined without adequate punctuation, especially in the final paragraph, making relationships between ideas hard to follow. Articles and agreement are also unreliable in phrases such as “the agriculture sector” and “jobs number.” Aim for complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, maintain past tense for the historical data, and use full stops to separate comparisons.

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