Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the quatity of work opportunities in four different fields of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, jobs in the manufacturing sector started with a significant number in 1960. but, they decreased later, the agriculture sector had the lowest figure in the last 40 year, convesely for the proportion of jobs in the retail and the healthcare, it increased throughout the period.

First and formost, number of jobs in the manufacturing sector reached 20 million in 1980. Since, they fell gradually to 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020. Same situation for the agriculture sector starting with 7 million jobs in 1960 until it fell slightly in 1980 with 4 million jobs and 2 million in 2020.

The two areas experienced substantial growth, to begin with the retail sector it rose gradually from 10 million jobs in 1980 to reached the highest figure in 2020 accounting by 16 million jobs. Likewise, the healthcare field accounted for a rapid surge from 5 million jobs in 1980 passed by 12 million in 2000 achieving the highest proportion in 2020 with 16 million in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast: manufacturing and agriculture decline after their earlier levels, while retail and healthcare rise. You also report several key figures accurately, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and the final 16 million for retail and healthcare. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture begins at about 6 million, not 7 million, and falls to about 3 million in 1980, not 4 million. The overview’s claim that retail and healthcare increased “throughout” overlooks that retail starts at 6 million in 1960, and the account omits the important convergence of retail and healthcare at 16 million by 2020. Develop the opening-period comparisons and describe the main turning points more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to two detail paragraphs. Grouping manufacturing with agriculture, then retail with healthcare, is a sensible way to organise the trends. The progression is generally understandable, but some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Same situation for the agriculture sector” does not specify exactly which aspect is similar, while “Since” and “Likewise” do not always connect the information smoothly. The final paragraph also repeats the 2020 healthcare figure and ends without a clear concluding comparison. Use more precise referencing and transitions, and ensure each paragraph develops its comparison in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “decreased,” “fell gradually,” “substantial growth,” and “rapid surge,” which helps describe changes. However, several spelling and word-choice problems reduce precision: “quatity,” “convesely,” and “formost” are misspelled, and “proportion of jobs” is not the most natural way to describe the number of jobs. Some expressions are also awkward, such as “accounting by 16 million jobs” and “passed by 12 million.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise alternatives such as “stood at,” “rose to,” and “reached a peak of” would make the descriptions clearer and more appropriate for a data report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “while” and “from … to …,” but control is inconsistent. Some sentences contain faulty structures, such as “it rose gradually from 10 million jobs in 1980 to reached the highest figure,” where the verb form after “to” is incorrect. In “the healthcare field accounted for a rapid surge from 5 million jobs in 1980 passed by 12 million,” the clause structure is incomplete and difficult to follow. There are also punctuation and sentence-boundary problems, notably the lowercase “but” after a full stop and the long final sentence. Practise parallel verb forms and use complete, clearly punctuated sentences to improve accuracy.

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