Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors which are involved in the economy of US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector involved large number jobs in 1960 with a plunge decline in 2020. Whereas the healthcare sector showed a steady increase throughout the 60 years.

In 1960, there are 15 million jobs in the manufacturing sector which is the highest number, when compared to other sectors. In contrast, the healthcare sector occupies the lowest number of jobs in 1960. However, the number of jobs in both retail and healthcare sectors increased dramatically between 1960 to 2020. Meanwhile, the agricultural sectors showed gradual decline in the number of jobs over 60 decades.

In 2020, the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector showed a sudden decrease when compared to 1980 which showed the highest peak in number of jobs.

In conclusion, the number of jobs for the four sectors in Us between 1960 and 2020 showed lots of fluctuation with a final raise of ratail and healthcare sectors in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify several important features, including manufacturing’s initial lead, its later decline, healthcare’s sustained growth, and agriculture’s downward trend. The opening overview gives the reader a useful broad picture, and the text includes some relevant comparisons, such as manufacturing being highest in 1960. However, some key trends are only partly reported: retail rises from 6 to 16 million, while healthcare rises from 2 to 16 million, so by 2020 they are joint-highest; this endpoint comparison is not made explicit. The claim that the graph shows “lots of fluctuation” is also too general, and the conclusion repeats rather than sharpens the overview. Include more precise comparisons across the years and distinguish the sectors’ different patterns.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, supporting details and a concluding sentence. Information is generally grouped by broad trends, and linking expressions such as “In contrast” and “Meanwhile” help signal comparisons. However, progression is not always smooth. The final paragraph focuses only on manufacturing, then the conclusion returns to all four sectors without adding a clear synthesis. Some links are also mechanical or unclear, particularly “However” before the rise in retail and healthcare, which does not express a clear contrast with the preceding point. Organise the body around related trends—for example, rising sectors versus declining sectors—and use transitions that accurately show the relationship between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “sector,” “decline,” “increased dramatically,” and “gradual decline,” so the main trends are understandable. There are also attempts at more descriptive language, such as “highest peak.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “plunge decline,” “occupies the lowest number of jobs,” and “final raise” do not express the data naturally. “Lots of fluctuation” is imprecise because the lines show distinct rises and falls rather than a single general pattern. Spelling errors such as “ratail” and inconsistent capitalisation of “US” also reduce accuracy. Prefer precise verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” and “peaked,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex forms, including a contrast clause beginning “Whereas” and a comparison using “when compared to.” Most sentences remain understandable, but some grammatical errors are noticeable. For example, “there are 15 million jobs” shifts into the present tense when describing past data; use “there were.” The phrase “large number jobs” is missing an article and “of,” while “between 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern. “The agricultural sectors showed” also has a number mismatch between the singular sector and plural verb. Aim for consistent past-tense reporting, accurate articles and agreement, and complete sentence structures when using contrast clauses.

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