Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the data about number of employment in four fields of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, it is noticeable that retail sector and healthcare field gradually increased while the manufacturing industries are agriculture sector got declined.

To commence with, in the year 1960 the retail sector was at 5 million , in 1980 it became 10 million , again in 2000 it reached to 15 million and than it stayed on 16 million in 2020. While the healthcare field was 3 million in 1960 than it went to 5 million in 1980, in 2000 it rose to 11 million and it became 15 million in 2000.

On the other side, the manufacturing industries was 15 million in 1960 , it increased to 20 million in 1980 afterwards it rapidly went down to 17 million in 2000 and declined to 13 million in 2020. Furthermore, it is visible that agriculture sector also got decreased between 1960 to 2020. At beginning in 1960 it was 6 million, in 1980 and 2000 it fell to 3 million and it declined to 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You cover all four sectors and identify the main broad contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline overall. Several figures are reported accurately, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and agriculture’s fall to 2 million by 2020. However, the overview is imprecise: manufacturing first rises before falling, rather than simply declining, and agriculture is broadly stable from 1980 to 2000. There is also a significant date error in the healthcare account: its final figure of about 15–16 million is assigned to 2000, although it belongs to 2020; the 2000 value is about 11 million. More precise comparisons and a corrected overview would make the key features clearer and better supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for the rising and falling sectors. This grouping helps the reader follow the comparisons, and sequencing phrases such as “in 1980” and “afterwards” make the timeline apparent. Cohesion is sometimes mechanical, however, with repeated “in [year]” constructions and frequent use of “and” to join details. “On the other side” does not connect the contrast as naturally as a direct transition such as “By contrast.” The healthcare sentence also gives the final value the wrong year, disrupting the progression through time. Use clearer linking and vary sentence patterns while keeping each sector’s figures in chronological order.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “rose,” “went down,” “declined,” and “fell,” so the main movements are generally understandable. There is some repetition, and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural for a chart report: “number of employment,” “four fields,” “got declined,” and “reached to 15 million.” “Rapidly” is also not well supported by the graph’s gradual change from 20 to 17 million over the period. These choices limit precision and naturalness, even though the reader can usually understand your meaning. Aim for standard collocations such as “number of jobs,” “sectors,” “stood at,” and “fell to,” and choose trend adverbs that accurately reflect the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with time clauses, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, control is inconsistent: “the manufacturing industries was” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “the manufacturing industries are agriculture sector got declined” is structurally faulty. Several sentences run together through repeated clauses, and punctuation around commas and spaces is uneven. The phrase “in 2000 it became 15 million in 2000” also repeats the year and makes the time reference confusing. Practise building accurate comparisons with a clear subject and verb, and use full stops or carefully placed conjunctions to separate the stages. More reliable sentence control is needed alongside your attempts at longer structures.

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