Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Thish graph illustrates that geven information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 to 2020.

It can be oserved that four type of jobs sector,the highest jobs is manufacturing and lowest is agricultrure.here is also include ratail services and health cared sector.in 1960 to 2020 retail and health growth is going a rise but agriculture is go down 1960 to 1980 annd stable between 2000 and again little fall in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the four sectors and give a broad sense that retail and healthcare rise while agriculture declines, which is relevant to the graph. However, the response reports very few of the main features and gives no figures or clear comparisons across the period. The claim that manufacturing is the highest sector is only true at some points: it peaks at about 20 million in 1980, but by 2020 retail and healthcare are both around 16 million, above manufacturing at about 13 million. The overview is therefore incomplete, and the agriculture trend is only partly described. The response is also 63 words, 87 short of the 150-word minimum; 17 words copied from the prompt were excluded from that count. Add a fuller overview and key data points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the graph, names the sectors, and then comments on broad trends. This gives the reader some sense of the topic. However, the ideas are compressed into two short paragraphs, and the second combines several comparisons without clear organisation. For example, the sentence beginning “in 1960 to 2020” moves from retail and healthcare to agriculture, then mentions separate periods, making the trend difficult to follow. There is little use of linking or referencing to show how the sectors compare. Organise the report into an introduction, a clear overview, and detail paragraphs grouping related trends; use time markers and comparison phrases to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” “retail,” “health” and “growth,” so the reader can recognise the subject. However, the range is basic and several spelling and word-choice errors strain understanding, such as “Thish,” “geven,” “oseved,” “agricultrure,” and “ratail.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, including “highest jobs” and “health cared sector.” Use accurate sector names and collocations such as “the number of jobs,” “employment in healthcare,” and “rose steadily.” Check spelling carefully, and choose vocabulary that describes trends precisely rather than repeating general words such as “rise” and “fall.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts both a graph-introduction sentence and a longer sentence describing trends, but the grammatical range is very limited and errors occur throughout. In “This graph illustrates that given information,” the clause is not formed correctly; a clearer structure would be “The graph shows the number of jobs…”. The phrase “between 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern, while “four type of jobs sector” has problems with number and sentence structure. Verb forms are also unclear in “retail and health growth is going a rise” and “agriculture is go down.” Use simple, controlled sentences first, with accurate past-tense verbs such as “rose,” “fell” and “remained stable,” then add comparisons once those forms are secure.

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