Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four departments of the economy such as manufacturing, retail, agricultural, and healthcare, in the US from 1960 and 2020,

Overall, the manufacturing industry surged to peak in the year 1980 but tended to decrease afterwards. Whereas, healthcare jobs were the least in the beginning but got inclined in few years. Furthermore, retail and agriculture field were same at first but later on retail started to go upwards however, agricultural department kept on decreasing.

In 1960, Manufacturing was at the highest at 15 million jobs and it went further higher by 20 million but it got steadily declined in 2020 by 13 million. Additionally, retail was comparatively higher than the other two categories by 6 million jobs, it dramatically increased over the next few years at it was the highest by 16 million jobs.

With regards to agriculture it was higher than the healthcare in 1960 around 6 million but it kept on decreasing over the years by . On the other hand, healthcare opportunities were about 6 million initally but it grew alot with the passage of years by 2020 it was approximately 16 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, healthcare rises substantially, retail grows, and agriculture falls. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million initially and 20 million in 1980, and retail and healthcare both reaching about 16 million by 2020. This gives the report a clear overview and covers the key series. However, some details are unclear or inaccurate: retail was 6 million in 1960, not “comparatively higher than the other two categories,” since agriculture was also 6 million; healthcare began at 2 million, not about 6 million. The agriculture sentence also leaves its final figure incomplete. More precise comparisons and a complete account of the main stages would strengthen the response further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the figures. The overview helps the reader understand the broad trends before the details, and phrases such as “On the other hand” signal a contrast. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “Whereas” begins a sentence fragment after the first overview sentence, while “Additionally” introduces retail without making the comparison especially clear. The final paragraph combines agriculture and healthcare, but the agriculture trend is left unfinished, disrupting the progression. Organise the details more systematically—for example, describe manufacturing and retail together, then agriculture and healthcare—and use linking phrases only where they clarify the relationship between figures.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “surged,” “peak,” “declined,” and “approximately,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you intend to describe. However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing a graph. “Departments of the economy” is less suitable than “sectors,” “got inclined” does not naturally describe an increase, and “agricultural department” is an awkward label for the sector. “Dramatically increased” also overstates the steady rise shown by retail. There are spelling errors in “initally” and “alot,” and “by” is used without a clear endpoint in the agriculture sentence. Aim for accurate, conventional trend language such as “rose steadily,” “fell,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling and collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “but,” “whereas,” and “however,” and most of the intended meaning remains understandable. Some grammatical errors nevertheless reduce clarity. The opening sentence ends with a comma rather than a full stop, and “Whereas, healthcare jobs…” is a fragment because the subordinate clause is not joined to a main clause. In “it dramatically increased over the next few years at it was the highest,” the clause connection is faulty. The phrase “by 2020 it was approximately 16 million” also needs clearer punctuation or a linking word. Practise joining contrasting clauses correctly and punctuating sentence boundaries; these improvements would make your varied sentence forms more controlled.

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