Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph dipicts the number of jobs in the four sectors of the economy in the US between the period of 1960 and 2020. These areas include, manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare showing jobs in millions.

As per the graph, there has been an overall decline in manufacturing industry starting from 15 million jobs in 1960 to a rise in 1980 and eventually dropping in 2020. The retail industry rose rapildy from 5 million jobs to 15 million in 2020. The healthcare industry on the other hand showed slight fluctuation in the jobs starting from almost 2 million to increasing at 15 million. The agriculture on the other hand massively dropped providing number of jobs from 6 million to 2 million.

Overall, Retail and health care sector rose in terms of providing jobs from 1960 to 2020, while manufacturing and agriculture industry declined in number of jobs offered during this time period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify all four sectors and give a broad overview that manufacturing and agriculture declined while retail and healthcare grew. However, several details are inaccurate or unclear: retail rises from about 6 million to 16 million, not from 5 million to 15 million, and healthcare reaches about 16 million rather than 15 million. Manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before falling to 13 million, but this key sequence is not fully reported. The description of healthcare as showing “slight fluctuation” also misrepresents its strong, steady growth. The response is 144 words, below the required 150, and some trends are underdeveloped. Include the main turning points and more precise comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph describing trends, and a concluding overview. The final paragraph usefully groups the growing sectors against the declining ones. However, the overview comes after the detail, and the second paragraph moves between sectors without a clear organising pattern, making comparisons harder to follow. Repeated transitions such as “on the other hand” do not always signal a genuine contrast, and “As per the graph” is a mechanical opening. Organise the body into clearer groups—for example, rising sectors and declining sectors—and use concise links to show how their trajectories compare. This would strengthen the progression while preserving the generally coherent arrangement.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “agriculture,” “jobs in millions,” and “declined,” so the reader can understand the subject. There are also attempts at more descriptive language, such as “rose rapidly” and “massively dropped,” but these are not always precise or suitably formal for reporting data. “Slight fluctuation” is an inaccurate description of healthcare’s substantial rise, while “providing number of jobs” is an awkward collocation. Spelling errors such as “dipicts” and “rapildy” are noticeable. Aim for accurate, neutral trend language and check spelling; terms such as “increased steadily,” “fell considerably,” and “reached a peak” would better describe the graph.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of sentence forms, including a contrastive sentence beginning “The healthcare industry, on the other hand…,” and most of the meaning remains understandable. However, some sentence structures are incomplete or awkward. The opening phrase “These areas include, manufacturing…” has an unnecessary comma, and “The agriculture on the other hand massively dropped providing number of jobs…” lacks a clear grammatical construction and article use. In “starting from 15 million jobs in 1960 to a rise in 1980,” the parallel structure is also unclear. Use complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check articles and punctuation. For example: “Agricultural employment fell from about 6 million to 2 million.”

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