Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph depicts the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing sector had its peak in the year 1980, then had a steady downfall by 2020. The jobs in retail and agriculture seemed to begin with at the same number, 6 million, but the retail increased steadily and overtook manufacturing sector jobs around the year 2018 to become the highest about 16 million by 2020, whereas for jobs in agriculture, it declined since the year 1960 from 5 million to about 1 million by the year 2020.

There has been an incredible growth in the healthcare domain, the jobs soared from 2 million to 16 million by the year 2020.

In conclusion, the job market over the period of 60 years, we can see that there is a substantial increase in the number of jobs in the retail and the Healthcare domain, while the others delined by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then falls, while retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture declines. However, some details are inaccurate: agriculture starts at about 6 million, not 5 million, and ends near 2 million rather than 1 million. Retail and healthcare are both about 16 million in 2020, so retail is not uniquely the highest. The claim that retail overtakes manufacturing around 2018 is not supported by the graph’s four plotted years; describe the comparison at the available points instead. The overview is relevant, but the response is under the required 150 words, which limits how fully the trends and comparisons are reported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, a sentence about healthcare, and a concluding statement. This helps the reader follow the general message. However, the progression is not fully controlled: the overview combines several trends in one long sentence, then healthcare is separated into a short paragraph, and the conclusion repeats the same broad summary rather than adding a useful comparison. Linking phrases such as “Overall” and “In conclusion” are clear but somewhat mechanical. Grouping the sectors by trend—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—and using clearer sentence boundaries would make the information easier to compare and reduce repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “peak,” “declined,” “soared,” and “substantial increase.” These choices communicate the main movements, and the meaning is generally clear. Some expressions are less natural or imprecise for a graph report: “steady downfall” and “incredible growth” sound informal or overly emphatic, while “jobs in the healthcare domain” is an awkward collocation. There are also spelling errors in “delined” and inconsistent capitalisation of “Healthcare.” Aim for neutral, precise reporting language and use standard sector names consistently. More accurate vocabulary would also help distinguish a rise, a fall, and a point at which two series become equal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, and the overall meaning remains understandable. However, some sentence structures are awkward or incomplete. For example, “In conclusion, the job market over the period of 60 years, we can see…” lacks a clear grammatical connection between its opening phrase and the main clause. In “the retail increased steadily,” the article and noun construction are not well formed, and “the jobs in agriculture, it declined” creates an unclear subject structure. The long overview sentence also needs more controlled punctuation and clause organisation. Practise forming direct subject–verb sentences and checking articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries while retaining some complex structures.

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