Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph below illustrates the information about the numbers of jobs in four different sectors of the economy Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcarein the US over a period of sixty years from 1960 to 2020, counted in millions.

Overall, it is clear that retial and healthcare showed significant growth over the given timframe. In contrast, agriculture showed a dramtic decline throughout the period, whereas manufacturing showed flactuated value on the graph.

In the beginning, manufacturing was the most popular job showing 15 million jobs in 1960 and gradually increased to peak at 20 million in 1980, thera after its showed sudden declined and reached to 13 million in 2020. In contrast, healthcare was the lowest on the graph at satrting 2 million in 1960 and its showed steady rose to reached at it final figure at 16 million in 2020.

In other hand, agriculture showed different trend on the given graph. In starting it is the second most popular job at 6 million in 1960. Afterthat sudden drop occured ferom 6 to 4 million in 1980 and showed consist to 2000 and then it declined to reached it final figure at 3 millioni n 2020. At beginning retail jos were also came on second starting from 4 million and consistantly increaded reached to its final and beacme the most popular same as the healthcare.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, healthcare grows, and agriculture falls. You also include several figures, such as manufacturing’s 15 million jobs in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and healthcare’s rise from 2 to 16 million. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture is about 3 million in 1980, not 4, and ends at about 2 million, not 3. Retail begins at 6 million, not 4, and reaches about 16 million; its growth and eventual joint-highest position with healthcare are not clearly reported. The overview also calls agriculture’s decline dramatic, although its fall is comparatively modest. More accurate comparisons and a clearer account of retail would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the trends. This gives the reader a basic route through the information, and contrasts such as “In contrast” help signal comparisons. However, progression within the detail paragraphs is uneven. The final paragraph moves from agriculture to retail without a clear transition, and the retail description is compressed into a confusing final sentence. Some linking phrases are inaccurate or repetitive, including “In other hand” and repeated uses of “In contrast.” Organise the details by grouping the declining and rising sectors, and give each comparison a complete, clearly connected sentence. This would make the overall arrangement more coherent and cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of trend vocabulary, including “peak,” “decline,” “steady,” and “popular,” and the reader can generally identify which sectors are being discussed. However, spelling errors are frequent and sometimes make reading difficult: “retial,” “dramtic,” “flactuated,” and “consistantly” are examples. Several word combinations are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “showed steady rose,” “sudden declined,” and “jobs were also came.” Repeated use of “showed” and “reached” limits variety, while “popular job” is not an accurate way to describe the number of jobs in a sector. Use precise terms such as “employment,” “rose,” “fell,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including comparisons introduced by “whereas” and “In contrast.” However, control of sentence structure and verb forms is inconsistent, and errors often make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “healthcare … its showed steady rose to reached” combines incompatible verb forms, while “agriculture … showed consist to 2000” does not form a complete, clear clause. There are also problems with articles, prepositions, and sentence boundaries, as in “At beginning retail jos were also came.” Aim first for accurate past-tense sentences with a clear subject and verb: “Healthcare rose steadily from 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020.” Then add complex structures only when you can control them.

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