Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph depits the economy of united states in four sectors from 1960 to 2020.

In this line graph we can see number of job vaccancies in four major sectors Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare. jobs in healthcare and retail market is growing up within the passage of year. Meanwhile, agriculure sector is showing decreasing jobs ratio on the other hand manufacturing is on the top of providing jobs from the begining but after a certain time it starts lacking too.

Graph is portraying that In manufacturing sector there are 15 million jobs in 1960 and then 20 million in 1980s after that it shows continous declining in jobs that its only 13 million jobs in 2020 after that there is a retail sector in which number of jobs are about 6 million in 1960, in 1980 it is 10 million, in 2020 it is 15 million. Healthcare sector is also producing more jobs over the year in start it is approxemately 2.5 million jobs then in 1980 it is 5 million after that noticeably increase in jobs in 2000 and 2020. whereas, agriculture sector is lacking throughout the years like it is 6 miilion jobs in 1960 and only 2 million in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises before declining, healthcare and retail grow, and agriculture falls. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and agriculture dropping from 6 million to 2 million. However, the overview is not fully precise, and some key comparisons are missing. Retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15 million, while healthcare rises to about 16 million and therefore catches up with retail by the end. The healthcare figure for 2000 is also left vague, and the opening claim that manufacturing was the leading sector throughout is not accurate: retail and healthcare are higher by 2020. Report the main endpoint comparison clearly and use accurate figures to support the trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable sequence: an introduction, a broad description of trends, and then details about the sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, the organisation is not consistently clear because the overview and detailed reporting are mixed, and the final paragraph moves between sectors in long, loosely connected sentences. Linking phrases such as “Meanwhile,” “on the other hand,” and “whereas” show an attempt to connect ideas, but some are awkwardly placed or do not clearly signal the relationship. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with a separate overview before the figures, would create clearer progression. Use full stops to separate comparisons and avoid repeating the same trend information.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “declining,” “increase,” and “throughout,” and the sector names make the subject clear. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for this chart. “Job vacancies” is not the same as the number of jobs shown, while “jobs ratio” and “lacking jobs” do not express the trends precisely. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “depits,” “agriculure,” “begining,” and “miilion,” which reduce the accuracy of the report. Aim for standard chart language and check spelling carefully. More precise verbs such as “rose,” “fell,” “remained stable,” and “reached” would help you describe changes without relying on vague phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with time clauses, but control is uneven. Errors in sentence boundaries and clause structure are especially noticeable in “In start it is approximately 2.5 million jobs then in 1980 it is 5 million after that noticeably increase…”; this needs clearer clauses and a finite verb, for example, “It started at about 2 million, rose to 5 million in 1980, and then increased noticeably.” Agreement and articles are also inconsistent in “number of jobs … is growing” and “a retail sector.” Capitalisation and punctuation need attention, including the lowercase opening after a full stop and the comma splice-like sequences. Use past tense consistently for the historical data and build shorter, complete sentences before attempting longer comparisons.

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