Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The grapgh illustartes the number of jobs in manfacturing, retail, agriculture and health care in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Retail and health care demand has been increased through over period of time while demand of agriculture has been decreased Meanwhile manufacturing section raised for 20 years and then declines dramatically through out the time.

looking at medical sector, At 1960 the total jobs of healtcare was approximately 1-2 million and the demand at the sector raised considerably to 5 million in 1980. The employement oppurtunities increased dramatically by 7 million in 2000.The demand for healthcare was huge and total number of jobs grew to more 15-16 million in 2020. followed by retail, similar pattern can be seen the total demand was 6 million in 1960 and raised steadily to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000. after 2000, the economy didn't grew with that speed and only created 1 million jobs in 20 years.

looking at the manufacturing market, there was a demand seen from 1960 to 1980 in which the manufacturing jobs rosed by 5 million from 15 million to 20 million, after that the ecenomy was shattered and the employement declined sharply to 17 million in 2000 and ended up with 14 million in 2020. The agriculture have showed a decline from 1960 to 1980 in which the market decreased from 6 million to 4 million in 1980 and was steady

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the four sectors and give a clear overall picture: healthcare and retail rise, agriculture falls, and manufacturing peaks before declining. Several key figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing’s rise from 15 to 20 million and retail’s increase to 15 million by 2000. This meets the task well, with the overview and comparisons grounded in the graph. Some details are less fully or accurately reported: healthcare is about 2 million in 1960, not 1–2, and agriculture is about 3 million in both 1980 and 2000, then 2 million in 2020. The response ends before completing the agriculture trend, and “demand” sometimes blurs the graph’s measure of jobs. More precise coverage of the final agriculture figures would strengthen an already relevant summary.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction and overview are followed by paragraphs on healthcare/retail and manufacturing/agriculture. This gives the reader a generally coherent route through the information, and phrases such as “Overall,” “looking at,” and “after 2000” signal shifts in focus. However, the progression is not consistently smooth. The healthcare and retail discussion is crowded into one paragraph, while the final agriculture point is left unfinished (“and was steady”), so the comparison lacks closure. Some transitions are mechanical or unclear, particularly “followed by retail,” and inconsistent capitalisation after full stops interrupts the flow. Grouping the sectors more deliberately and completing each trend would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “increased dramatically,” “declined sharply,” “steady,” and “employment opportunities,” and the main trends remain understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are imprecise for describing a jobs graph: “demand” is repeatedly used where “number of jobs” or “employment” is clearer, and “the economy was shattered” is an unsupported, overly dramatic description of a decline. There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “grapgh,” “manfacturing,” “healtcare,” and “employement,” which reduce the accuracy and polish of the writing. Aim for precise, neutral reporting language and proofread spelling; this would make your vocabulary more controlled and appropriate to the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and the reader can usually understand the intended comparisons. However, control is uneven, especially in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. Examples include “Retail and health care demand has been increased,” “the total demand was 6 million and raised steadily,” and “the economy didn't grew”; these constructions make relationships between the figures less clear. Several sentences also run together or begin with lowercase letters after full stops, as in “in 2020. followed by retail,” while the final sentence is incomplete. Practise accurate past-tense reporting (“rose,” “increased,” “declined”) and check each sentence for a complete subject and verb. A wider range of structures will be more effective when these basic patterns are controlled.

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