Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

As we can see in the graph below of jobs in four sectors of the economy is the US netween 1960 and 2020 we can notice there is four sectors starting with the manufacturing sector going up from 15 to 20 jobs in millions and thats only between 1960 and 1980 and after that we notice a diminuation from 20 to 17 jobs in millions reaching 13 in 2020 .

as a second sector we have retail that starts with 6 jobs in millions in 1960 going up to 10 in 1980 reaching 15 jobs in millios in 2000 and slowing down arriving only 16jobs in millios on the year of 2020.

Last but not least we have the agriculture sector that starts with 5 jobs in millions on 1960 and going dow to diminuate to 3 jobs in millions between 1980 and 2020 reaching 2 jobs in millions at the year of 2020.

and finally we got thr healthcare sector that has been grown with the year from 2 jobs in millions to 16 jobs in millions in 2020 passing by 10 at 1980 and 15 in 2000 and that was grown so fast with the time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You report all four sectors and describe their main directions, including manufacturing’s rise and later decline, and the growth of retail and healthcare. However, the response is mainly a sequence of sector-by-sector details rather than a clear overview of the most important comparisons. For example, it does not highlight that manufacturing was highest in 1980, while retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020, or that agriculture remained the smallest sector. Some figures are inaccurate: agriculture begins at about 6 million, not 5, and healthcare was about 5 million in 1980 and 11 million in 2000, not 10 and 15. Add a concise overview and check key values against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable sequence, moving through manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, and phrases such as “as a second sector” and “and finally” help signal that order. However, it lacks a separate overview and paragraphing, so the reader has to infer the overall pattern from the individual descriptions. The repeated formula “starts with… going up to…” also makes the progression mechanical, while some links between time points are unclear. Organise the report into an introduction, an overview of the main trends, and one or two detail paragraphs grouped by related patterns. Use varied, precise links such as “whereas,” “by contrast” and “over the same period” to make comparisons clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing sector,” “retail,” “agriculture” and “healthcare,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you intend to describe. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, such as “jobs in millions” and “that was grown so fast with the time.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “netween,” “millios,” “diminuation” and “thr,” which reduce accuracy and polish. Choose standard chart language and check spelling carefully. For example, describe figures as “the number of jobs, in millions,” and use verbs such as “increased,” “declined” and “rose sharply” rather than repeatedly saying “going up” or “grown.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect several time points in longer sentences, but these structures are often difficult to control. For instance, the opening sentence begins “As we can see…” and continues through several clauses without clear punctuation, while “the agriculture sector that starts with 5 jobs… and going down” has an incomplete, inconsistent structure. There are also recurring problems with agreement and verb forms, as in “there is four sectors” and “has been grown.” Sentence boundaries and capitalisation are inconsistent, particularly where new sentences begin with lowercase “as” and “and.” Use shorter, complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, then practise accurate past-tense forms such as “rose,” “fell” and “reached.”

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