Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This graph provide us the information from the era of 1960 to 2020 which is about the number of job in the four different sectors of economy in the US.

A there were about 15 million jobs for the manufacturig sectors which grows in numbers until 1980 and touch a figure of 20 millions and after that the number drop gradually in this field.

The retail and agriculture both are the two sectors which was standing about 6 millions in number at initial but by time they went in opposite direction. By now the retail is standing with the job market of 16 millions in numbers while on the other side the agriculture was starting lossing his jobs and grudually now it is on about 2 million job holds.The healthcare is the one sector in US which initially was at 2 million in numbers but by time it increased dramatically and now it hold the same market as the retail.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main overall movements: manufacturing rises to a peak in 1980 before declining, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. The comparison that retail and agriculture both begin at about six million is also accurate, and you note that retail and healthcare finish at similar levels. However, the account is only partial: it gives few figures beyond the starting points and manufacturing peak, and does not report the important intermediate values, such as healthcare reaching about 11 million in 2000 or retail rising to 15 million. The overview is implied rather than clearly stated, and phrases such as “by now” make the final year less precise. Include a distinct overview and select a few key figures to support each major trend.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response follows a broadly sensible order, moving from manufacturing to retail and agriculture, then healthcare. Linking phrases such as “after that,” “by time,” and “while on the other side” show an attempt to connect changes and comparisons. However, the information is presented as one continuous block, with no clear overview paragraph followed by supporting details. Some links are awkward or unclear, particularly “A there were” and “By now,” and the long final sentence combines several ideas without a clean progression. Organise the report into clear paragraphs and use precise time references such as “by 2020”; this would make the comparisons easier to follow and reduce the impression of loosely connected statements.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased dramatically,” “drop gradually,” and “opposite direction,” so the reader can understand the broad changes. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a graph report: “job holds,” “standing with the job market,” and “lossing his jobs” do not express the data clearly. Spelling errors such as “manufacturig” and “grudually” also reduce control. Aim for standard collocations such as “the number of jobs,” “employment rose,” and “employment declined,” and use sector names consistently. More precise trend language would help you describe changes without relying on vague phrases such as “by time.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to combine ideas in longer sentences, for example when comparing retail and agriculture, but control is uneven. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “This graph provide,” “both are the two sectors which was,” and “it hold.” Articles and sentence construction are also problematic in “A there were about 15 million jobs,” while the final sentence runs several clauses together and is difficult to punctuate clearly. These errors sometimes make the reader pause, even though the general trends remain understandable. Practise accurate present and past forms, subject–verb agreement, and complete sentence boundaries. Shorter, well-controlled sentences would be a useful foundation before adding more complex comparisons.

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